Look what Wiseblood Books is cooking up:
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Wiseblood Submissions: Open Season for Unsolicited Manuscripts
Wiseblood Books, a recently-launched editing and publishing line, is soliciting novels, novellas, and short story collections for its inaugural line of contemporary fiction. To submit a query, visit http://www.wisebloodbooks.com/publishing.html and follow the instructions.Wiseblood Drive: Secure the Pulse of Cultural Renewal
In order to fully animate our brand new editing and publishing line, Wiseblood Books is holding its first Wiseblood Drive. Donations will helps us to advertise publications, solicit introductions and critical essays from established authors, improve our software, maintain our website, and support our staff.We are grateful for even the most modest donation; no amount is too small.
Those who donate $33.00 or more will receive a Wiseblood Classic of their choice. Visit our Book Catalogue to view recently released Wiseblood Classics, a line of books that preserves the enduring epiphanies of now-dead custodians of the beautiful-truthful. Through this series we give new form to great works of literature at a price you can afford.
Those who donate $333.00 or more will receive an entire Wiseblood Classic Library, complete with every book we’ve published to date. Donors on this tier may also request a Classic they would like to see us print.
To donate, go to our homepage: www.wisebloodbooks.com
They’ve got my typewriting chimp!
And they’re gonna keep him until he writes the complete works of Shakespeare!
Well, one of the histories, anyway. He’s only one chimp on one typewriter, after all.
As the Ape-in-Chief of Wiseblood Books,
I feel it incumbent upon me to inform the Reading Public that Wiseblood is, so far as our PR people can tell, the first ever human owned business that pays their chimps the same wages they pay their humans. Namely, minimum wage. At least, the minimum wage for waitstaff in Wisconsin (our HR people somehow reconfigured my position to make it fit under the label “waitstaff). Namely, $2.33 per hour plus tips. Work weeks run something like 50-60 hours. If that pathos don’t get you to throw some charity our way, I fear I must give up on mankind.
– Wiseape Prospero,
Ape-in-Chief
Author of “The Real Shakespeare(s): The Bard’s Uncovered Ape Writers”
It’s relatively easy to reconfigure the position of an ape – they’re really bendy. But who gives tips to publishers? Publishers are supposed to give tips to authors! About how to get published!
You all been had, is what you all been.
Ain’t none of yall rubes never been to the zoo? Any-yall did would know that that ain’t no ape. Ain’t no chimp-pansy, ain’t no orang-tang neither.
Why, that there ain’t but a man in a gorilla suit.
What is it about Wisconsin that it attracts all the editor crazies?
Let’s do lunch sometime.
(A three-lutefisk lunch, of course.)
JOB
Aye, Mr. Lickona,
Point well taken. Here, then, is the tip:
We’d love to print your words, and according to the latest market findings
you would find greatest success were you to entitle the book EITHER:
“Racing with Relics: Memoirs of a Devout Nascar Racer”
OR “Running with Rosaries: Memoirs of a Lost (but Found) Marathon.”
Well, you game?
A-I-C
A-I-C, you have the brightest possible future in this business. Back when I had a future, the good people at Loyola asked for a sequel to Swimming with Scapulars. “Maybe call it Running with Rosaries” is a direct quote from my editor.
If I’d listened, I might still have a future, as you seem to have intuited.
However, your boys (and girls) in proofreading need some work: as every denizen of Upstate New York knows, it’s NASCAR, not Nascar.
Rival Apes just ate the Wiseblood Website. 3/4 of it is temporarily unavailable.
That’s what you get for consorting with humans.