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Vatican SWAT Team Deployed to U.S. Seminaries

Korrektiv News Service
October 5, 2005

According to insider sources, the Vatican has deployed a SWAT team to root out heresy and loose living in U.S. Roman Catholic seminaries. The team, a special unit of the Swiss Guard, has undergone rigorous selection and training to withstand the rigors of close quarters combat. Armed with submachine guns, carbines, tear gas, and concussion grenades, the team has orders from Pope Benedict to form a perimeter around each seminary and attempt a peaceful resolution. If the use of force is deemed necessary, then the SWAT team will attack to neutralize any threats to hostages. Dynamic entry tactics will be used to gain quick entrance to any building or classroom involved in the situation. Non-lethal flash-bangs could be employed to temporarily stun or incapacitate any suspects (but leave the hostages unharmed), providing a window of opportunity to strike.

Comments

  1. Tell me more about “dynamic entry tactics.”

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