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Meataphor as Miss Steak

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  1. Rough trade draft says:

    Picture this:

    “Thousands of people flocked to a cathedral yesterday to catch a glimpse of the relics of a Roman Catholic nun described as the ‘greatest saint of modern times.’ Pilgrims collapsed in tears as a casket containing the remains of St. Therese of Lisieux arrived at St John’s Catholic Cathedral in Portsmouth for the first part of a month-long UK tour. Many of the faithful touched the protective glass or pressed rosary beads and cuddly toys against it, hoping the goodness of St Therese would rub off on them.”
    — Sophie Freeman, London Daily Mail, September 17, 2009

    Now picture this:

    “Then I saw the egg: plastic, translucent, and about ten feet high, on a podium in the atrium — a giant Fame [perfume] bottle, with [Lady] Gaga inside. As it dawned on the crowd that the onscreen Gaga was being broadcast live, from inside the egg, two people climbed a set of stairs to the egg and reached into a tiny window to touch the sleeping Gaga. As they did, their hands entered the frame onscreen. Then, it was everyone else’s turn…The crowd was crushing…People pushed from behind and clamored toward the stairs…There was no turning back — or even turning around… I walked up, crouched down, and whispered inside the hole in the egg, to warn Gaga I was there. Then, I reached in through a screened hole, and touched her fingers, just the little knuckles below her clawlike nails. Descending the stairs, I realized Gaga had made us all into those little monsters from her film.”
    — Jenni Avins, New York Magazine, September 14, 2012

    *****

    Once upon a time, Therese of Lisieux was the world’s biggest saint. She was a French Carmelite nun who lived in seclusion and died of tuberculosis at just 24 years old. Media made her a superstar. She wrote an autobiography, The Story of a Soul, that has sold more than 100 million copies since its publication in 1898, and her image has appeared countless holy cards, paintings, and photographs. She was one of four women be awarded the title Doctor of the Catholic Church, and so strong was the public devotion that the Church changed its rules for her: for Therese, Pope Benedict XV dispensed with the traditional 50-year waiting period prior to canonization.

    Once upon a time, Lady Gaga was the world’s biggest pop star. She was a New York scenester who wanted to be famous and scored a #1 hit (“Just Dance”) at just 22 years old. Media made her a superstar. She recorded three albums, The Fame, The Fame Monster, and Born this Way, that have sold more than 25 million copies, plus more than 60 million copies of singles, and her image has appeared on countless albums, magazine covers, and websites. For a time, she was the single most followed person on Twitter. As of this writing, the Church has not changed its rules for her. But she has already been canonized as a kind of secular saint: the patron of the young and sexually open.

    Both women were famed for their intense devotion – Therese to Jesus; Gaga to…something else. There was little they would not do for who and what they loved. But on February 13, 2013, Lady Gaga decided to not-do the biggest thing she’d ever done: the second half of the second North American leg of her Born This Way Ball concert tour. This is the story of that decision. Or at least, this is a story about that decision – one version of the events that led up to the day the music stopped.

  2. Jonathan Webb says:

    What a thing.

  3. Bacon's Velázquez's Innocent X's Portrait says:

    Airhead Surrounded by Sides of Beef

  4. Septimus, what is carnal embrace?

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