Happy Earth Day from Wal-Mart



  1. Well, I was going to go straight home, but I don’t know if I can pass that by. Every National Park I’ve ever visited was redolent of strawberries, so I can’t wait to get some of that stuff and enter into the Earth Day spirit.


    • Matthew Lickona says

      It’s a great price for a limited-edition fragrance, crafted by AirWick’s skilled fragrance crafters.

      • Of course! Wal-Mart always has the best products and the best price. The reason I know this because I’m blest to live in a place where there is no place else left to shop.


        • Given the Federally retarded rural life policy in this country, one that stretches back at least as far as FDR – I wouldn’t heap all the blame on WalMart – as I believe Rs and Ds alike have some splainin to do in this regard.

          After all, we can’t expect Bruce Springsteen and Jon Bon Jovi to support their families without those farm subsidies!

          And while its true that Walmart and nature both abhor a vacuum, had rural communities been able to sustain living wages by maintaining control of their profit margin, WalMart would have never been given a second look in most communities and young men and women would not have been fleeing to the cities.

          Economy of scale, like the tango, takes at least two – buyer and seller.

          That said, I believe the picture above is a wonderful example of double irony: a faux scent for a faux holiday.

          In the Church, we had something called Rogation and Ember days.

          But that apparently got chucked along with subdeacons and maniples.

          So instead of incense, we have Airwick; instead of Dies Irae, we have the Pelagian substitute known as global warming – or is it climate change?

          Mutatis mutandis and all that…


          • Oh, I know it’s complicated, but you know the lure of WalMart consists of more than low prices.

            “a faux scent for a faux holiday.” Only appropriate.

            I love Rogation and Ember days.


  2. Angelico Nguyen, Esq., OP says

    And for all this, nature is never spent;
    There lives the dearest freshness deep down things….

    • Matthew Lickona says

      And since our fragrance-crafters gotta pay the rent
      They’ll dig it out and can it, whatever cost it brings.

  3. Angelico Nguyen, Esq., OP says

    Outtake from a Mike Judge show?

  4. Angelico Nguyen, Esq., OP says

    Okay, Yosemite’s accounted for. Now, where’s the one inspired by the Sulfur Cauldron at Yellowstone?

    • I was thinking something along those lines. There are some pretty yucky smells in National Parks. I know, because I live in my own personal national park.


  5. Also, I’m curious about the fifty-cent difference….

    An extra dash of limonene? One dollop more of hydroxyl radical? Hmm?


  6. Diet Sprite.

  7. Max Bialystock's Cardboard Belt says

    There goes the planet.

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