Happiest

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  1. Angelico Nguyen, Esq., OP says

    The Diocese of Orange could buy it, and replace that Mickey Mouse face with a Christogram.

    • Cubeland Mystic says

      Angelico

      Why not my face on that wheel?

      I say we buy it outright and we could call it Lenten Land. That picture above could be the Wheel of Penance. We’d change all the rides to be Dante themed rides. I envision a purgatorial ride called Condomonium, that Matthew is going to design. Then there is going to be Mysticland. Sort of barren desert landscape with rocks within Lenten Land. The riders go sit on the rocks and listen for the Lord’s voice. There is going to be long lines for that one. I’ve been working on a thrill ride called The Ladder of Divine Ascent, where you climb to the top and demons swoop down to drag you off the ladder and into hell. Dark Night of Soul where you experience absence of the Divine Presence. The Black-Fast Food Court … Duuude! Instead of Disney characters, you have famous Saints and Mystics. You got all the little ones your at the gate getting your wrist bands on, and here comes Virgil to guide you through the park. Theophan the Recluse is there handing out prayer ropes.

      You in?

      • Angelico Nguyen, Esq., OP says

        Bro! It is a sublime vision indeed.

        If you know any FINRA-registered broker-dealers, call ’em up: Just to be on the safe side, we should solicit investment to cover whatever the Kickstarter donations don’t pay for.

        We must remember to advertise that the Black-Fast Food Court is kosher, halal, and vegan-friendly.

        And we need to license souvenir hairshirts with the Lenten Land logo.

        Just one ride description gives me pause:

        ‘Dark Night of Soul where you experience absence of the Divine Presence.’

        Now that’s a great idea! I love it — but I’d be wary about competing so directly against the Disney parks.

        • Matthew Lickona says

          This is, of course, the best idea in history. However, it should be noted that Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride, already extant at the park, takes you quite literally into hell. And Pinocchio’s Daring Adventures does it figuratively – Monstro is, I think, quite deliberately reminiscent of the Devouring Mouth of Hell that shows up in medieval art.

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