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Today in Kindle Fire

The New York Times takes aim at some weaknesses in the Kindle Fire…

“A few of their many complaints: there is no external volume control. The off switch is easy to hit by accident. Web pages take a long time to load. There is no privacy on the device; a spouse or child who picks it up will instantly know everything you have been doing. The touch screen is frequently hesitant and sometimes downright balky…”

Uh-oh.  The dreaded spouse or child.  But wait!  There’s hope!

“There will be improvements in performance and multitouch navigation, and customers will have the option of editing the list of items that show what they have recently been doing. No more will wives wonder why their husbands were looking at a dating site when they said they were playing Angry Birds.”

“Dating site” is my new favorite euphemism.

Comments

  1. As in: “Oh! Don’t worry honey! It WAS a dating site I was looking at, that’s true, but it had no anal bleaching to speak of. None that I could see, anyway. – Hey, what’s for dinner?”

    JOB

    • Cubeland Mystic says:

      JOB
      I think this makes you the blog expert on Anal Bleaching. Does the process entail using something like a Crest Whitening Strip? Why does one bleach their anus?

      I am trying to understand.

      • A long while back, Chuck Shepherd’s News of the Weird reported on the increased popularity of anal bleaching. Porn stars were doing it in order to make the anus look less like an anus and more like just another welcoming orifice. Then, boys who learned about sex from porn were discovering that their girlfriends did not look like porn stars back there, and were understandably upset. So the girlfriends were getting their anuses bleached in order to resemble the porn stars that their boyfriends were taking as the model for anatomical normality.

        • Cubeland Mystic says:

          I checked my corporate website to see if it was part of the American Corporate lexicon like when the fed lowers interest rates unexpectedly, or when your employer uses implied threats to get you to work 7 days a week without compensation.

          So it is a literal activity. Do you think there is a money making opportunity like with tattoos? Maybe we can start a chain of Anal Bleaching Parlors across the country? Make that fortune we’ve been chasing. We could call it “The Sun Also Rises Anal Bleaching Salon” “The Plunge Anal Bleaching” “Bright Ending Anal Bleaching” I know . . .”Rosebud Anal Bleaching”

          I really love modernity. There are so many new frontiers, and science and all that. I am just so happy my kids have so many opportunities. Thank you JOB for info.

          • Angelico Nguyen, Esq., OP says:

            If ‘Rosebud’ is the The Moviegoer reference I fear it is, you’re proposing offering this cosmetic service to dogs (and other pets?), as well. That’s not just a new frontier, but a brave new world, if not an undiscovered country.

          • CM,

            Actually the rather thorough explanation was Matthew’s – whom I thank for having done the prerequisite research.

            The more important question, of course is (nothing) the (to) one (see) concerning (here) dinner…

            JOB

  2. Angelico Nguyen, Esq., OP says:

    ‘Playing “Angry Birds”‘ is my new favorite euphemism.

  3. It’s interesting, because one does assume here that “dating site” is a euphemism for something smuttier. If they meant that seriously, they’d be winking at the idea of a husband on the prowl, which clearly would not be okay for a little punch line at the end of an otherwise innocuous paragraph. But if they meant “dating” site, wink wink, well, that’s just something husbands do from time to time. Do be a dear and navigate to a different screen before lending the device to the children, though.

    • Angelico Nguyen, Esq., OP says:

      On first reading your comment, Ms Expat, I agreed.

      But then I thought —

      … they’d be winking at the idea of a husband on the prowl, which clearly would not be okay for a little punch line…

      It’s the ‘clearly’ that sticks in my craw. I’d like to think the gravity of adultery’s wrongness would be too clear to make light of (in the context of an ‘otherwise innocuous paragraph’, anyway…), but I fear you may be giving more credit than is warranted in these dread latter days.

      But you know, it’s rather rude to talk about what Mr Streitfeld did or didn’t mean while he’s, if not in the same room, then at least on the same Internet. I’d email the man an invite, but kommentators lack standing. The Kollektiv’s public-relations person and/or hospitality committee might want to look into this, though.

      http://topics.nytimes.com/top/reference/timestopics/people/s/david_streitfeld/index.html?inline=nyt-per

      Who knows, he may want to stick around and discuss Catholicism, bleaching, etc.

      Anyhow, whether the joke is about adultery or ‘mere’ pornography, its implication of male marital infidelity makes the prominent placement of the Mad Men art on the above-depicted Kindle Fire screen most apropos indeed.

  4. Angelico Nguyen, Esq., OP says:

    Just so we’re clear: ‘Dating site’ is a euphemism for ‘korrektivpress.com/blog/’, correct?

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