Third Son:  I have this mark on my booty.

The Wife:  Is that a bruise?

Me:  Maybe it’s booty cancer.  Maybe they’ll have to do a bootyectomy.  What are you going to sit on when you have no booty?

Third Son:  It’s okay – I’ll have an IRON BOOTY.


  1. Very good.

  2. Angelico Nguyen, Esq., OPL says

    Bad @$$.

  3. Jonathan Webb says

    I bet you guys are one of those Catholic families that put me off as a kid, the kind who make fart jokes at the dinner table.

  4. Cubeland Mystic says

    This Nicholas anon leet fle a fart,
    As greet as it had been a thonder-dent,
    That with the strook he was almoost yblent;
    And he was redy with his iren hoot,
    And Nicholas amydde the ers he smoot,
    Of gooth the skyn an hande brede aboute,
    The hoote kultour brende so his toute,
    And for the smert he wende for to dye.
    As he were wood, for wo he gan to crye,
    “Help! Water! Water! Help for Goddes herte!”

  5. Arc reactor or gas powered?

    *hangs head in shame*

  6. The comments are unpleasant.

  7. Jonathan Webb says

    No one farts in England.

  8. Cubeland Mystic says

    Wasn’t there another post that got deleted? About Amy Welborn and writing poetry at party. I’m all confused and what not. I must have dreamed it.

    • Angelico Nguyen, Esq., OPL says

      We’ve always been at war with Eastasia.

      • Cubeland, that post was confusing and unedifying. And I wrote it. So, no, it wasn’t a dream. There is the ripe stink of reality to your memory.

        • Southern Expat says

          Lickona said that if the ladies were going to pitch hissy fits about their birthdays being improperly non-alluded to, he was going to take his tombstone and go home. At least that’s the way I heard it.

          • You see how pitching a hissy fit affects your hearing?

            • Southern Expat says


              Also: there are voters present, touring the environs and what-not. Let’s try to class it back up.

              • Angelico Nguyen, Esq., OPL says

                ‘Every day, every day, Darlene, I try to explain to you the kind of clientele we want in here. Then I walk in and find you eating crap off my bar with some old lady and a fat turd. You trying to close down my business? People look in the door, see a combination like that, they walk off to another bar.’

  9. Cubeland Mystic says

    It is kind of strange when a post is there and then it disappears.

    Southern Texpat
    Is there a category for best blog commenter? I want to run for that.

  10. Jonathan Webb says

    A post can be judged by the volume of its comments.

    Lickona scores.

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