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Today in Startling Tell-All Revelations That No One Could Ever Have Guessed

“Hugh Hefner’s Playboy Mansion More Like a Squalid Prison, Say Playmates.”

Since ending his relationship with the sisters, in January this year, he is said — in what must be one of the most suspect statements of the century — to have been monogamous. Unlikely as it seems, he is perhaps serious about making ­Harris his wife.

If so, she will be little envied by many of Hefner’s former girlfriends. For they know that, while life at the Playboy Mansion appears to offer all that an aspiring young celebrity might yearn for, she is committing herself to a life of squalid degradation in a cage which is far from gilded.

Comments

  1. Matthew Lickona says:

    Oh, that was lovely. Thank you.

  2. cubeland mystic says:

    Let's not end the year with porn.

  3. Southern Expat says:

    Good point, Cubeland. Best to start the new year fresh, rather than with the stink of Hef.

  4. Jonathan Webb says:

    I'm pretty good at beginning and ending things in the right spirit. It's the middle part, Wednesday at 3PM, that I have trouble with.

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