Christmas Eve Flashback

‘Twas the Night Before Christmas
(or A Visit from Quin and Henri Webb)

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and we were watching House —
That episode where he had a webcam pointed at a mouse.
Foreman and Chase were trying not to care
That to be fodder for put-downs was why they were there.

The patients were nestled in their hospital beds,
While House smacked a few of them upside their heads.
And Cuddy with her cleavage, and Cameron the sap,
Figured as foils for more of House’s crap,

When out in the street there arose such a clatter,
I paused the TiVo to see what was the matter.
Handing my wife the remote and my beer,
I got off the couch to see who was here.

The pizza guy fishtailing madly through the snow
Had collided with my neighbor’s 1993 Volvo,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But Quin and Henri Webb bringing more beer.

With a twelve-pack in one hand and in the other a stick,
Henri Webb made a strange but impressive St. Nick.
More rapid than a gutter, Quin guzzled one down,
And he whistled and said, “Let’s go out on the town”:

“Now Søren! Now Walker!
Now, René* and Blaise!
On, Flannery! On, Fyodor!
Fie, Despair and Malaise!
To the top of the blog!
To the top of Korrektiv!
Now post away! Post away!
Post some invective!”

As comments that make other wild comments fly,
When they land in the combox like farkleberry pie,
So Quin and Henri began to jeer
At Lickona who showed up with even more beer.

So Quin and Henri Webb began to get frisky
When they spied Lickona coming with a bottle of whiskey.

*Girard not Descartes.


  1. Jonathan Webb says

    Poetry is the greatest gift of all.

    Reminded me of Stubby Pringle's Christmas.

    Someday when you are dying I'll see what a rotten friend I've been and there'll be some Christmas tie-in.

    But, you'll leave a poem for me, it will be that one and I'll weep uncontrollably and give up drinking.

    Thanks but no thanks.

    Thanks again.

  2. Matthew Lickona says

    How much do I love the Korrektiv? Enough to bring beer, which I DO NOT ENJOY. And to all a good night.

  3. Rufus McCain says

    Fixed it up for ya. The whiskey should help both a yall.

Speak Your Mind