Fun with Sports Cards

Let’s talk celestial alignment. Though music. Through athletics. My sister is Tori Amos. I’m Corey Amos. When you see Tori writhing on the piano bench and there’s a lot of histrionics, I’m pretty sure I know what you think you think, but really you don’t have the emotional aptitude to fully get it or enjoy it. What she’s really doing is recalibrating the universe via her instrument and her passion, and that’s what I do at shortstop. What you judge as a colossal error—like the ball skittering through my legs and winding up in left field—is something much deeper than that. There are larger forces at play, dancing with one another, only you’re probably too stunted by Western propaganda to realize the beauty and grace of it all. You’ve been trained only to watch iCarly on your iPad.

Read this and others here and here.

(Warning, not for those not used to chaw-spittin’, groin-scratchin’, four-letter-word spoutin’, and James Lileks taken to a new level – nay, dimension!)

And, yes, I specifically chose a Padre to keep this post Catholic… or badly Catholic at any rate.


  1. Jonathan Webb says

    Brings me back. Hilarious, thanks.

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