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How to Use Your IRS Rebate Check

This timely piece of advice just landed in my inbox, courtesy of some of my wife’s colorful kinfolk in the southlands:

As you may have heard, each of us will be getting a tax rebate check to stimulate the economy.

If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China. If we spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs. If we purchase a computer it will go to India. If we purchase fruits and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala. If we purchase a good car it will go to Japan. If we purchase useless stuff it will go to Taiwan and none of it will help the American economy.

We need to keep that money here in America. The only way to keep that money here at home is to spend it at yard sales, since those are the only businesses still in the United States!


  1. Matthew Lickona says

    I’m surprised to even have to mention this at a place like Korrektiv, but most of the porn is still Made in the USA. And while strip clubs may be staffed by Russian expats, they’re Russian expats with a dream of making it in America….

  2. What about good old American Beer? That and non-impoprted wine, was how I had planned to spend my sizable check.

  3. Rufus McCain says

    Good job, Korrektiv readers! Keep those ideas coming! Together we can make America great again.

    You can always donate the money to your local, post-scandal, bankrupt Catholic diocese, too.

  4. Cubeland Mystic says

    I am spending my stimulus money on these useful American made tools. Last year’s tax refund check was invested in 12000 feet of razor wire to create an insulating blanket surrounding my retirement hovel in the high Nevada desert.

    This first American beauty I call “Horn of Gabriel”

    If trespassers sneak pass the wire and don’t hear the “Horn of Gabriel”. They will meet my two other little friends. The first is called “Still Small Voice” and the second is called “Gentle Breeze”

    This is a good use of the stimulus check.

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