Today in Porn, Employment Edition

Once again, the good people at Defamer are helping some lucky soul to make a living doing what he loves: Playboy is looking for an Acquisitions Specialist.

“And what do you do?”

“Oh, I’m an Acquisitions Specialist at Playboy. Care for another Mai Tai?”

Sounds fabulous, no? Sort of like the fellow who goes around collecting priceless artifacts for the Lord Hefner, Eccentric Billionaire. And check out the qualifications! ” Familiarity with adult talent, major product distributors and adult studios is required.” Doing what you love, indeed.

Except then you read the job description:

“Screen and evaluate all submitted content for possible acquisition for Playboy TV, The Spice Digital Networks & Video On Demand.” I mean, everybody loves S’Mores, but would you really want a steady diet of chocolate and marshmallows all day, every day?

And there’s this, the least delicious duty of all: “Responsible for all customer service hotline viewer calls and letters and maintain consumer schedule mailing list.” I mean, there has to be a Funny or Die sketch in there somewhere – the irate pornwatcher who’s calling the Playboy Channel to complain about Sybelline’s choice of high heels…

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