Archives for December 2006

“We spit on the tomb of Jesus’ S Kikeerguard”


I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don’t know where it goes
But it’s home to me and I walk alone
I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams…
– Green Day, “Boulevard of Broken Dreams

“‘…cos I know what it means
To walk along the lonely street of dreams.
Here I go again on my own
goin’ down the only road I’ve ever known.
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone…
– Whitesnake, “Here I Go Again”

Who knew?

Irish-Themed Beer Joke of the Month

An Irishman named O’Malley went to his doctor after a long illness.

The doctor, after a lengthy examination, sighed and looked O’Malley in the eye, and said, “I’ve some bad news for you. You have cancer, and it can’t be cured. I’d give you two weeks to a month to live.”

O’Malley was shocked and saddened by the news, but of solid character. He managed to compose himself and walk from the doctor’s office into the waiting room. There, he saw his son who had been waiting. O’Malley said, “Well son, we Irish celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don’t go so well. In this case, things aren’t so well. I have cancer, and I’ve been given a short time to live. Let’s head for the pub and have a few pints.”

After three or four pints, the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more beers. They were eventually approached by some of O’Malley’s old friends who asked what the two were celebrating. O’Malley told them that the Irish celebrate the good and the bad. He went on to tell them that they were drinking to his impending end. He told his friends, “I’ve only got a few weeks to live as I have been diagnosed with AIDS.”

The friends gave O’Malley their condolences, and they had a couple more beers.

After his friends left, O’Malley’s son leaned over and whispered his confusion.

“Dad. I thought you said you were dying from cancer? You just told your friends that you were dying from AIDS!”

O’Malley said, “I am dying of cancer, son. I just don’t want any of them sleeping with your mother after I’m gone.”

Christmas letter…

…from a priest I know, an old-timer fond of promising suffering. It included this delightful tidbit:

“In the meantime, all the enemies of the past have ganged together to eviscerate the Catholic Church, the only physical and spiritual unity in the world. When the last priest is strangled in the entrails of the last king, the world will end, for the world cannot go on without the priestly sacraments of the Eucharist, Penance, and the oils of healing.”

He may have been quoting someone else; I’m not sure. But it’s certainly a change of pace from “Buffy and Tad are doing fine at Harvard, and little Mergatroid is excelling everyone at the conservatory. Wendell and I have finally started that foundation we always talked about.” He signed it,

“Get ready to be crucified!
Father X”


First Son made some comment about what people deserve.

Me: No, son. There’s a line from Shakespeare: “Use every man according to his dessert, and who should scape whipping?” It means if we treated everybody the way they deserved to be treated, we’d punish everyone. Everyone has sinned. Everyone deserves death. That’s why we live by love instead. Love covers a multitude of sins.

First Son, picking up on my choice of words: So love just covers over the evil?

Guest at table: Luther!

The Wife: No, son, love transforms.

Me: It heals.

Found while cleaning my office:

A paint-stirrer, upon which I have scrawled, in oddly neat letters, “Religion is not life.”

I wonder what I was thinking, he said to himself, his consciousness spiraling in on itself…

Dawn Does Dylan

A good word from angelmeg

“18. The life and writings of Walker Percy thanks to my pals at Korrektiv who first introduced me to him…”

A good word from The Poor Bastard

“The insightful and unusually well-written blog Korrektiv ….”

Abandoned Slogans From The Campaign to Increase Observance of the Sunday Obligation Among the Faithful

Get your ass
To Mass

God wants you
In the pew

Add your own in the comments!

Back to the lists…

Today’s entry: absolutely most hated Glory & Praise hymn (and why). I’ll start with “Gather Us In,” for using “light years” in a religious hymn, or at least, using it the way it does. “Not in some heaven, light years away…”

I don’t get out much…

…so no, I haven’t seen Apocalypto yet. But these people have, and I for one was very intrigued to hear the thing was dedicated to Abel.

Francis Thompson, Lucky SOB

How come the Hound of Heaven doesn’t chase me down all the days?

I fled Him, down the nights and down the days;
I fled Him, down the arches of the years;
I fled Him, down the labyrinthine ways
Of my own mind; and in the mist of tears
I hid from Him, and under running laughter.
Up vistaed hopes I sped;
And shot, precipitated,
Adown Titanic glooms of chasmèd fears,
From those strong Feet that followed, followed after.
But with unhurrying chase,
And unperturbèd pace,
Deliberate speed, majestic instancy,
They beat — and a voice beat
More instant than the Feet —
“All things betray thee, who betrayest Me.”

One of the reasons I love The Sopranos…

…even in these dread latter days of Season Six, is the way the show gets at the rather universal question of whether it’s all about family or all about money. The rhetoric occasionally strays into the “family first” realm, but again and again, when it comes to it, money is what matters. The latest iteration: when Johnny Sack cries after the U.S. Marshalls ruin his daughter’s drive-away from her wedding, even his right-hand man regards it as weakness. The great fear: if he’ll break down over questions of family, what else will he break down over?

Make It New

I’m happy to admit that I was a sucker for Dave Matthews Band way back when. “Ants Marching” and all that. But time passes – I mean, even Dave Matthews isn’t that into himself any more. Then, driving home tonight, I heard him do a live cover of The Zombies’ “Time of the Season.” “What’s your name? Who’s your daddy? (Is he rich?) Is he rich like me?” Fantastic.

Gawker Drops The Facade…

…and writes a straight-up love letter to one of my favorite films: Metropolitan.

The Christmas Story…

…a great occasion for frank discussions of human sexuality!

“So, Mom, what exactly is a Virgin?”

Yes, the burgers are good…

…but In ‘N Out still has me a little worried…

I suppose it’s pretty much common knowledge that In ‘N Out puts scripture references (book, chapter, verse) on the packaging for their delicious burgers, crispy fries, and quite possibly, even their scrumptious shakes. I don’t know how often they change those references, but last I checked, we were offered Revelations 3:10:

“Because you have kept my message of endurance, I will keep you safe in the time of trial that is going to come to the whole world to test the inhabitants of the earth.”

And a bit from Nahum (can’t remember whether it was verse 7 or 8; was overwhelmed by burger pleasure):

“The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him, but with an overwhelming flood he will make an end of Nineveh; he will pursue his foes into darkness.”

Does my fast-food provider know something I don’t?