Christmas letter…

…from a priest I know, an old-timer fond of promising suffering. It included this delightful tidbit:

“In the meantime, all the enemies of the past have ganged together to eviscerate the Catholic Church, the only physical and spiritual unity in the world. When the last priest is strangled in the entrails of the last king, the world will end, for the world cannot go on without the priestly sacraments of the Eucharist, Penance, and the oils of healing.”

He may have been quoting someone else; I’m not sure. But it’s certainly a change of pace from “Buffy and Tad are doing fine at Harvard, and little Mergatroid is excelling everyone at the conservatory. Wendell and I have finally started that foundation we always talked about.” He signed it,

“Get ready to be crucified!
Father X”


  1. Notrelatedtoted says

    Little Mergatroid? I like it!

    I’ve tried to talk my wife into letting me write a Christmas form letter, but she won’t go for it. Apparently, she has a problem with my “embellishments.”

  2. Cubeland Mystic says

    Again, consistent with the visions I’ve been having.

    Is the priest from the Mediterranean area by an chance? Otherwise default to Irish.

  3. I think the quote’s attributed to Diderot, though perhaps he didn’t actually say that. The full quote says something about men not being free until the last priest has been strangled with the entrails of the last king.

  4. Adam DeVille says

    Perhaps a tad overwrought, but I’m not complaining. In an age of euphemism, speech-codes, and avoidance of glaring truths, one is, as Waugh once said in a similar context, absolutely parched for such straight-talk.

  5. Tis the season to be …jolly???

  6. ernesto pinamonti says

    We got a Christmas letter this year that a psych student could write a graduate thesis on. While thanking God for showering her large family with blessings, she also couldn’t stop thanking him for delivering them from innumerable hardships. In fact, on the back, she printed a list titled: With God’s Grace, We Survived in 2006:” And she listed the power going out for ten days and all the food going bad, an inordinately high number of trips to the emergency room, her husband running trespassers off with a shot gun, mountain lions killing the live stock (no joke), beubonic plague (joke). It was 25 items long, maybe longer. As I read it, I felt like I was reading a cry for help.

    Thanks for listening.

  7. Tom Craughwell says

    The good Father is quoting Voltaire. Although I’m pretty sure in the original it is the king who gets strangled by the last priest’s entrails. By the way, Thomas Jefferson was fond of repeating this quote–you’ll find it from time to time in his writings. That said, I think Father should have saved this particular nugget for his Good Friday letter.

  8. I think Voltaire was the source of the “priest strangled by the king’s entrails” thing….also, Ed Abbey (the anarchist environmentalist) wrote that he got in trouble as a youngster by attributing that same quote to Louisa May Alcott…

  9. There is the Hilaire Belloc ditty:

    Lines for a Christmas Card

    May all my enemies go to hell,
    Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel,

  10. Irish indeed, CM.

    Eagerly awaiting our copy….

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