Memo to the Dude in the Landscaping Truck Ahead of Me

Dude. It’s 10:20 in the morning. I know you have a hard job – manual labor in the hot sun. I’m not going to sit here and lecture you about having a morning brewski to help you through. But do you really think it best to drink the thing while driving around town? And then, to advertise your imbibing by tossing the empty can of Mickey’s out the window, onto the street?

True confessions: I probably wouldn’t be so grumpy if he hadn’t been driving so slowly.


  1. anonymous expensive car driver says

    I know that guy. He goes to my AA meetings. (That’s A–holes Anonymous, so you don’t get the wrong idea.) I’ll talk to him about it. He’ll want to confess before the group, I’m sure. Thanks for letting me know.

  2. Matthew Lickona says

    Anytime. Perhaps I’ll see you there.

  3. Father Stephanos, O.S.B. says

    Yesterday. “9/11”. I’m in the car. Aching, sorrowing, fearing, listening to radio replay of an exchange between a dispatcher and a woman trapped in the World Trade Center on a floor above the crash of a plane CONSCIOUSLY driven into the building.

    Man in the next lane, one car length ahead of me, drifts in my direction. I swerve out of his way. I glare. He’s driving with his forearms because both his hands are occupied writing in a notepad. I want to drive a plane into him. I settle for pornographic shouting.

    He could have driven himself– UNCONSCIOUSLY– into another 9/11 victim.

  4. Rufus McCain says

    See, contrary to the conventional wisdom, beer slows you down, mellows you out, makes you drive safer.

  5. Rufus McCain says

    If terrorists drank more beer, they might be more open to the epiphany about how much of a drag it is to blow yourself up or fly airplanes into buildings.

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