Cary Grant’s Star Given Star On Hollywood’s Walk of Fame

ROOTERS NEWS SERVICE, DATELINE: HOLLYWOOD – Cary Grant’s Hollywood Walk of Fame Star was given its own Star in a special ceremony today. The move was reportedly designed to separate the famous-famous, or “talented,” from the merely “famous.” “The stars were getting a little too, shall we say, dim,” quipped Hollywood fame-watcher Fawn Pawsworth. “Winnie the Pooh? He had a certain pillowy innocence, but I don’t think I’m going too far when I say that he was little more than a cartoon – hardly someone to compare with a master like Cary Grant, who managed to combine effortless charm and sophsitication with a touch of menace, yet still remain scrumptiously lovable. And don’t even get me started on Britney Spears. ‘Spectacular’ and ‘spectacle’ are different words, you know. Cary Grant’s star outshines stars like these the way the sun outshines a lighter held up at one of Ms. Spears’ ‘concerts.’ It deserves this kind of recognition.”
Few would contest Mr. Grant’s star power. However, some jaded Gen-Xers ironically drinking Pabst in a Williamsburg bar were quick to criticize the move. “Haven’t we already been through enough of this meta crap?” asked Stubble McSeenit, who works at the Gap for the irony factor, and also for money. “I mean, everybody’s already made a joke about an awards show for the best awards show. Isn’t a star for a star just a riff on that old line? And this isn’t even a joke, apparently. Which, I guess, does increase the humor of it. So I guess I can’t complain. Darn.”
Cary Grant’s star maintained a dignified silence, as did the star awarded to his star. However, those close to the star seemed awfully pleased with themselves.

So it ain’t The Onion. So sue me.

Comments

  1. Mark Lickona says

    This is my favorite:

    “Haven’t we already been through enough of this meta crap?” asked Stubble McSeenit, who works at the Gap for the irony factor, and also for money.

    That and the “darn” of the ironist who finds himself torn between enjoying irony and enjoying being ironic about irony. Talk about meta.

    I see this guy wearing a T-shirt that says “I was meta about meta before ‘meta’.” (Say, I wonder if I could get me one of those.)

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