Prayer of the Gossip Fiend

Just once, I’d like to read a celebrity breakup press release that, instead of the usual blather about “respecting our privacy during this difficult time,” met the gossipmongers head-on:

“Gunther and Melinda, after long and careful consideration, have decided to separate after two and a half weeks of marriage. The reason is more horrible and degrading than you could possibly imagine, so go ahead and speculate away. Seriously, do your worst. Then swallow the bitter knowledge that the truth is even worse than that.”


  1. bwhahahahhhahhhahhahahha


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