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Bishop Skylstad Reduced to Whiskey Barrel


Korrektiv News Brief
December 19, 2005

As part of the Chapter 11 bankruptcy reorganization of the Diocese of Spokane, Bishop William Skylstad’s residence and entire wardrobe have been sold at auction. Here Bishop Skylstad is pictured standing in the whiskey barrel he was allowed by U.S. Bankruptcy Judge Patricia Williams to salvage from the basement of the old rectory prior to moving into the abandoned shack shown in the background.

Mike Moyer, president of the Spokane group The Faithful Are Really Ticked (FART) released a statement saying, “It’s a shame that most of the money, donated to the Church by decent hardworking folks, will be going to assholes. It goes without saying that the abusive priests who committed these crimes are assholes and that the bishops who covered up these crimes are assholes. The psychiatrists that advised the bishops are mostly assholes, too. Needless to say, the lawyers for both sides, who will be collecting a big chunk of change off this deal, are by and large assholes. But the real untold story is that most of the victims are assholes as well. We need to pack up the whole lot of them and send them off to Asshole Island.”

Comments

  1. D.H. Lawrence says

    Curse the blasted, jelly-boned swines, the slimy, the belly-wriggling invertebrates, the miserable sodding rotters, the flaming sods, the snivelling, dribbling, dithering, palsied, pulse-less lot … God, how I hate them! God curse them, funkers, God blast them, wishwash.

  2. Thanks D.H., you’ve captured my sentiments much more eloquently than my vulgar repetition of the a-word, which I regret. We both probably need to repent, however, and try to embrace charity towards everyone, especially during this blessed season.

  3. Matthew Lickona says

    Of course, the President of FART should watch his use of the word “asshole” – dangers of association and all that. Asshole Island, however, is simply inspired.

  4. We were going to call our group “The Faithful Are Really Pissed” but thought that might be offensive.

  5. Jonathan Webb says

    Watch for the new ABC series “Asshole Island”. Based on the classic series “Fantasy Island”, it will star Dennis Leary as Ricardo Monteban, and Gary Coleman as Tatu.

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