Vanity, thy name is…
February 12, 2013 by at 2:16 pm
Not quite this anymore….
**** 
***
….thanks to the newest Korrektivkind:
Claudia Maureen. 9 lbs. 6 oz. 20 3/4 inches. Feb. 9. (4:50 a.m. (that’s right, A.M.)
Which for those with Irish Alzheimer’s (you forget everything but the grudges) means mnemonically that 2 had 9 on 2/9…
So, I might be looking for a new set of plates but then again I might not… You see, 9-9 just doesn’t have the same ring to it.
JOB
“How my friend Maria joined the Sacred Order of the Very 1970s Catholic Social Apocalypse/Baseball Novel.”
December 20, 2012 by at 11:14 am
The Trainer
November 24, 2012 by at 10:27 pm
He sits in the corner, curled as a punch,
But placid all the same, accounting for
His pyrrhic losses, eating at his lunch
And sipping whisky with a petit four.
“The dainty roughs it out,” he says, “with sweet
And tough.” He crimps his toothless mouth. The gums
Are sucking glory while his withered feet
Begin to shuffle. “Seven rounds,” he hums.
“We thought all twelve; he went down in seven.”
He makes a fist – the knuckles gnarled and sprained –
And socks up an open purse for heaven.
Counting the seconds the way he was trained,
He rubs the rubber wheels that hold his chair
And pummels memory. The clock on the wall
Is full of feints and jabs. Perhaps aware,
He leans in – posterity takes a fall:
“He didn’t last,” he says. “I taught him all’s
He knew.” He dribbles whisky, glad to stew
About the past. His eyes are medicine balls.
“But didn’t teach him fuck all that I knew.”
There will be an extra point
September 25, 2012 by at 8:34 am
Top three comments in Johnsonville, immediately after witnessing what Wayne Laravee referred to as “The Travesty”:
1. “Russell Wilson: First quarterback in NFL history to win by throwing an interception.”
2. This is how Obama is going to win in November.
3. I thought Giants fans [i.e. JOB] were out of control!
Then to add insult to injury, because points scored by a team in a game are part of the play off calculus at the other end of the season, as the AP reported it, the Packers had to eat their anger and show the stuff of true sportsmen by having to endure a final humiliation:
ADDED: The NFL came out definitively in favor of the rep refs (i.e. Footlocker employees and Lingerie football rejects):
Kierkegaard Comes Up
Lance Armstrong is a big fucking asshole. That seems to be the emerging consensus in the wake of his confession. One of the experts on the subject is Mike Anderson, a former mechanic and personal assistant to Armstrong. In Anderson’s recent interview with Sports Illustrated, what may be of interest to readers of Korrektiv is that Anderson mentions Kierkegaard.
I’m curious about that ellipsis (…) following “forgiveness and guilt and anxiety and the roots of it all.” Did Anderson say more about his reading of our man K that the SI editors deemed too philosophical for their brain-damaged readership? Here’s our chance for some real investigative reportage, K-team. Get on it!
See also: “[Catholic mom] Betsy Andreu always knew that Lance Armstrong doped”