Christ came, and seen by all Seville,
distracted good folk from feeding sticks
to a hot fire under an iron grill,
where lay well-done, screaming heretics.
Amidst His miracles passed the Roman
Catholic cardinal, erect gnomon
to His shadow, Grand Inquisitor,
finger pointed at the visitor.
“Is it thou? Be silent! Off to prison!
For fifteen hundred years, we ate bread
blessed by thou. Really now; the dread
spirit of dessert supplies the frisson
de plaisir we require. Enough tricks! We
prefer fire, crackling and whistling. Dixi!”
The Grand Inquisitor rendered into an Onegin Stanza
How I Broke My Arm
When the landlord of the building gave me the basement apartment, he said, “Be sure to check out the bar right above you—my brother-in-law is the owner and they serve a great steak. Tell him I sent you. And you should visit the barbershop on the other side of the building; my nephew owns it, and I’ll tell him you’ll be stopping by. But you don’t need to go up to any of the floors above, and in fact it’d be great if you would just stay out of the lobby altogether—it’s really for the people in the building.”
So I got the haircut, and it wasn’t bad, and I had the steak, which was pretty good, which in fact you might even say had me—coming back for more, that is. It was the during the third or fourth charbroiled that I met the fourth member of the family reigning at 111 Furth. Now, when it comes to socializing, let me say that I’m all for it. I no longer wish to leave early, slamming the door behind me as I go, and in fact I plan to stay here drinking until they turn off the lights. Getting back to the event under consideration here, I saw no reason to get a nice girl mixed up in the whole lousy business. But she, all curls, pearls and swirls, simply would not let up. Well, she didn’t much like the basement, what with all the oil and the machine parts lying around, on account of it was my job to fix ‘em. And she lived in the building, too—had somehow talked the old man into giving her one of the studios with a view of Elliot Bay. So you can see the problem in all this, I’m sure.
Hell, I’m going to stop right there; the story tells itself, really. That’s how I broke my arm.
From the YouTube Music Video Archives: From the Indies to the Andes in his Undies
While trying to get the lowdown on Fair Use laws, I came across this old gem from the Hoosier Hot Shots. As is typical of the music videos genre, there’s a fair amount of debauchery in this epic of Otto Zilch. So consider yourself warned.
From the Indies to the Andes, What a mission! / Stopping only now and then to do some fishin’ / And he went without a copyright permission / Was a very daring thing to do
Prytania Street
The K-team will be presenting papers at Loyola U’s The Moviegoer at Fifty conference … and we’ll all be staying on Prytania Street to boot. Anybody game for a meet-up? Let’s get together and toast the going under of the evening land!
We Drank Mint Juleps with His Sister
From today’s Writer’s Almanac.
I read this after reading (and relishing) a few chapters of the last part of Brian Jobe’s Bird’s Nest in Your Hair (coming soon from this here press!), and Dubus’s remarks quoted in the last paragraph seemed highly apropos. “A first book is a treasure.”
It’s the birthday of fiction writer Andre Dubus II (books by this author), born in Lake Charles, Louisiana (1936). He grew up in a Cajun-Irish-Catholic family, went to Catholic schools, studied English and journalism, and then joined the military. While he was in the military, he married a woman named Patricia, a Louisiana homecoming queen. He served for six years, and became a captain. He and Patricia had four children.
Dubus left the military to pursue his real passion: writing fiction. He was accepted to the Iowa Writers’ Workshop and moved his whole family to Iowa City. They had a happy few years there, surrounded by friends, attending parties and discussing literature. He published his first novel, The Lieutenant (1967), and he got a job teaching in New England. The family moved to New Hampshire, then Massachusetts. Dubus was a popular professor, and his books of fiction were well-regarded by other writers like John Updike, Richard Yates, and Kurt Vonnegut.
Even as his professional life took off, his family fell apart — and that is the story that his son, the novelist Andre Dubus III, told in a recent memoir, Townie (2011). Andre Dubus II left his wife and four children for a beautiful young student, and in some ways he never looked back. He remained a dutiful father — he picked up his kids once a week and took them out to eat somewhere, and he showed up for family holidays. But he was teaching at Bradford College, living a much different life than his ex-wife and children. The life of the elder Dubus consisted of working on stories, jogging, drinking, having affairs with students, attending parties and giving readings. Meanwhile, the rest of his family was struggling to make ends meet, living in poverty in a series of Massachusetts mill towns. The young Andre Dubus and his siblings were bullied until Andre spent a year and a half obsessively lifting weights and conditioning himself to be a fighter so that he could stand up for all of them. He began to thrive on violence. His mother worked long hours and was constantly exhausted; the house was disgusting, and there were always drugs around but never enough food. But his mother did her best — Dubus said: “My mother was making $135 a week. But she had resilience and imagination. She might take frozen vegetables, cook them with garlic, onion and Spam, and it would taste like a four-star dinner.” Through it all, the elder Andre Dubus would show up to take his kids out to eat, but he seemed oblivious to how different his own life was from that of his children.
Late on a summer night in 1986, Andre Dubus II was driving back to campus from Boston, where he had been gathering material for a story. He saw a couple of young people on the side of the highway who had gotten in an accident — they had hit an abandoned motorcycle. Their names were Luis and Luz Santiago, a brother and sister. Dubus pulled over to help them and had just gotten out of his car when another vehicle swerved off the road straight for the three of them. Luis was killed, and Luz survived only because Dubus pushed her out of the way. Dubus was seriously injured, and doctors thought he might not survive. He did, but one leg was amputated and the other never recovered, so he was confined to a wheelchair. His third wife, Peggy, left him within a year of the accident. He lived alone in a rural house built on a steep hill.
By this time, Andre Dubus III was in his 20s. He had started publishing stories, and he and his father had found some things in common — they talked about writing, or about fighting — as an ex-Marine, Andre the Elder was proud of his son’s skills. Now, after the accident, with the elder Andre seeming vulnerable for the first time, the father and son were able to truly reconnect. The younger Andre and his brother Jeb built ramps all around their father’s house, and Andre taught his father how to lift weights. They traveled and did readings together. In 1999, Andre III said goodbye to his father and headed to the West Coast for a book tour promoting his new novel, the best-selling House of Sand and Fog (1999). Soon after, Andre II died of a heart attack.
Andre Dubus II’s books include Adultery and Other Choices (1977), Finding a Girl in America (1980), The Times are Never So Bad (1983), The Last Worthless Evening (1986), and Dancing After Hours (1996). His story “Killings” was adapted into the film In the Bedroom (2001).
Dubus said: “A first book is a treasure, and all these truths and quasi-truths I have written about publishing are finally ephemeral. An older writer knows what a younger one has not yet learned. What is demanding and fulfilling is writing a single word, trying to write le mot juste, as Flaubert said; writing several of them which becomes a sentence. When a writer does that, day after day, working alone with little encouragement, often with discouragement flowing in the writer’s own blood, and with the occasional rush of excitement that empties oneself, so that the self is for minutes or longer in harmony with eternal astonishments and visions of truth, right there on the page on the desk; and when a writer does this work steadily enough to complete a manuscript long enough to be a book, the treasure is on the desk. If the manuscript itself, mailed out to the world where other truths prevail, is never published, the writer will suffer bitterness, sorrow, anger, and, more dangerously, despair, convinced that the work was not worthy, so not worth those days at the desk. But the writer who endures and keeps working will finally know that writing the book was something hard and glorious, for at the desk a writer must try to be free of prejudice, meanness of spirit, pettiness, and hatred; strive to be a better human being than the writer normally is, and to do this through concentration on a single word, and then another, and another. This is splendid work, as worthy and demanding as any, and the will and resilience to do it are good for the writer’s soul. If the work is not published, or is published for little money and less public attention, it remains a spiritual, mental, and physical achievement; and if, in public, it is the widow’s mite, it is also, like the widow, more blessed.”
Queequeg’s Rising Sun
Queequeg’s Grill and Tavern
1124 Eastlake Ave, Seattle
I was having a beer at Queequeg’s the other evening, and was lucky enough to find Diana, the day bartender, filling in for one of night crew. After watching her muddle up a trayful of fruity-looking concoctions, we started talking about the capricious tastes of the typical sot in Seattle. She’s been at Queequeg’s for about ten years, and has witnessed the rise and fall of many the cocktail: when she started the Alabama Slammer was still in style; five years ago it was the Bushwhacker.
“So what never goes out of style?” I asked, contemplating a shot of Maker’s. Which is about as fancypants a drink as I can stand to be seen with.
“Martinis and Manhattan’s, of course,” said Diana. “Can’t go wrong with one of those.” She hung out a hitchhiker’s thumb towards one of the patrons to my left, and rolled her eyes. “Or several.”
“What about the foofoo stuff?” I asked, shivering at the thought of a perfectly good whiskey, ruined by Vermouth and—Lord, protect me—a maraschino cherry.
“Wellll … You’ve got your Margharita, of course. And the Kamikaze will never go out of style. What’s great about the Kamikaze is that it’s a winner every time, good at all hours of the day. People will order them as a way of celebrating the end of a working day, or even the middle of one. Hell, I’ve had them with breakfast, after going home with one in a cab the night before!”
“Really?” I asked. “Something with limes seems kind of strange for the morning.”
“It doesn’t have to be limes, actually,” said Diana. “There are variations, like the Lemon Drop.”
“Sugar on the rim?” After returning from the bathroom, a former girlfriend had ordered one in lieu of the shot of whiskey I’d ordered for her.
“Right,” said Diana.
“And then there’s my own invention,” she added. “The Rising Sun.”
“It’s like a Kazi?”
“Mostly. Instead of Vodka, I introduced Shochu. It’s a Japanese drink—”
“Like Sake?” I blustered.
“No, not really. Shochu is distilled, and they’ll make it out of anything: sweet potatoes, chestnuts, rice—”
“They have plenty of that.”
“Right,” she said, looking a little irritated. “Anyway, the point was to keep it Japanese…”
She must have registered the blank look in my eyes, as she went on to explain it a little more thoroughly.
“You see, kamikazes were these suicidal Japanese fighter pilots, so I thought I’d make a drink that was also Japanese, and named it for the ‘Land of the Rising Sun’. That’s what the Japanese call their country.”
“Oh.”
“Which was perfect, I figured, because I could make it orange and red—like an actual rising sun. So the name dictated the colors, and the colors helped determine the flavor of the drink. Oranges were perfect as a substitute for limes or lemons. The Shochu makes it even more Japanese than a Kamikaze, but I’m happy to use vodka instead. Muddle it up with Triple Sec and add a shot of Campari to give it some red, and you’re good to go.”
“Sounds complicated,” I said.
“It is, actually,” said Diana. “Campari is considered a bitters, so there’s even more going on, taste-wise, than a Kazi. Or the Lemon Drop.”
“Would you like another beer?” She must have noted the confused look on my face at the mention of ‘bitters.’
“Yeah.”
After pouring me another Slug Bait, she walked over a piece of paper with a dirty piece of scotch tape at the top.
“One of the regulars actually wrote a poem about the drink. He was sweet, and I liked the poem, so I typed it up in the office and taped it up on the Wall of Fame.” She waved that thumb again, back to the left, where postcards, photographs of people partying, and drawings done in crayon were stuck on the mirror.
“It’s basically a drink recipe, if anyone ever needs it. I put another copy in the Drink Guide as well, so you can keep it.”
And I have. Long enough to reproduce here:
The Rising Sun
We’re never more ourselves than when entirely
absorbed in something else, and you’re most yourself,
easily, making your specialty drink, The Rising Sun.
You begin by filling the steel shaker with ice
and several orange slices (hurried, you’ll use juice),
two ounces of Shochu (Stolichnaya on request),
and a splash of triple sec (Grand Marnier for me).
After muddling the mess into an orange mush,
you’ve even shaken it thrice, for good measure, before
straining it into a martini glass, finishing with a sunburst
of Campari, the completed concoction glowing orange
and red as the eastern sky at daybreak. Bestowing
your gift on a serviette, you then stand back, smiling
gladly, your eyes finally seeing what your hands did.
I’m sure it tastes better than it reads. I had another shot of Maker’s. Less poetic, maybe, but it gets the job done.
Impressionist Jim Meskimen Does Shakespeare in Celebrity Voices
This guy does does more impressions than you can shake a spear at, and he does them well. From Captain Kirk to Woody Allen to Robert De Niro, he absolutely nails it. Even more … impressive … is that he somehow looks like each of the celebrities, including Morgan Freeman.
And Then It Happened, That Queer Sensation
From Bob Dylan’s radio show, Theme Time Radio Hour.
Speaking of Bob Dylan, Korrektiv Press has a novel waiting in the wings, Bird’s Nest in Your Hair, by Brian Jobe, which takes its title from an obscure Dylan song, “Trouble in Mind.” The song appeared on the b-side of the biggest hit single of Bob’s evangelical phase — “Serve Somebody” — and the protagonist of Brian’s novel (well, the primary protagonist, in my opinion — it’s open to debate because there are several protagonists) is a young woman, a bartender named Diana, who loves listening to Dylan songs on the jukebox and is in the tentative, uncertain process of throwing her lot in with the Catholic Church.
An early draft of Bird’s Nest was pseudonymously serialized on Korrektiv some time back, but the author has busted his butt with major revisions, and rendered himself, like Hoagy Carmichael and Bob Dylan, a plaything of the muses. The result is a tome of befuddling beauty and double and triple reflections wherein startling glimpses of star dust intermingle with the dark tangles of the devil who would make a bird’s nest in your hair. Coming soon to a book dealer near you!
NB: There is some name/identity confusion hereabouts, to be sure. Let me help clarify the matter for you. JOB stands for Joseph O’Brien, and his book of poems is next up, after Bird’s Nest, on the Korrektiv Press assembly line. Brian Jobe is a different person, completely distinct from the other JOB (although both JOB and Jobe have suffered some trials like their biblical namesake). Brian writes here on the blog as Quin Finnegan and he has sometimes written under the pseudonym Jeb O’Brian. (See the different spelling from the other aforementioned O’Brien?) JOB lives in idyllic camping country “nestled amid the mytho-geographical possibilities of the Mississippi, Wisconsin and Kickapoo Rivers” (his own words) and is a prodigious father of many children. Jobe is a bachelor (and a highly eligible one, ladies) who resides smack dab in the middle of downtown Seattle and has not, to his knowledge, fathered any children at all. Does that help? Then there are the two Jonathans, also two different fellows. Jonathan Webb is a tall 50-year-old father of four who smokes big cigars, drinks Wild Turkey, and lives in the Tuscany-like environs of the Snohomish River flood plains north of Seattle. Jonathan Potter (i.e. myself, who has sometimes written under the name Rufus McCain) is a medium-size fellow in his late forties, also a father of young-uns, who lives among the rocks and pine trees of Spokane, Washington. Southern Expat is woman of refined sensibility who isn’t sure she should be affiliated with the likes of us — especially the likes of Matthew Lickona, who was almost famous once but opted for a penitential life of toil and pain and obscurity. And that rounds out our ragtag kollektiv. This is the last time I’m going to explain this, so I hope y’all are paying attention. Any questions?
Mr. Jobe, Call Your Editor
I’m ready to dish out the first hundred pages of the final edits of BNIYH. Mr. Webb, start warming up the presses. Call the roller of big cigars, etc.





Mark Steyn on Parthenogenesis
It may not be a violet, or a triolet or whatever you call it, but it is another alarmist rant from the author of After America: How Weird, How Soon?
Well, you might think, there goes Steyn, banging the same old gong again. It’d be one thing if experiments like these were confined to a few weirdos at UCLA or the old duffer in his laboratory in Aberdeen. The trouble is that everyone is getting into the game.
Brave New World, here we come. And then some.