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Ogden Nashing of Teeth…

Somebody stop me before I rhyme again…

The current pope has written lovely things about the Mass said ad orientem

But he wasn’t the pope when he wrote them, so there remains considerable discussion as to exactly how much weight those lovely things should be given – in other words, how much he meant ’em.

As others have noted, among the crowd that delights in singing the folksy strains of “People Look East,”

There are not a few who, if you mention that you think it makes a certain degree of liturgical sense for the priest to face in the same direction as the people when he is presenting their collective prayers to God, will look at you as if you have just sprouted horns and a tail and gotten a tattoo that depicts the mark of the Beast.

And now the churchy world is buzzing with talk of Benedict’s proprio giving rise to a motu,

Just so that people who, for some reason not apparently understood by a fair portion of the heirarchy, have a particular fondness for the Mass according to the Rite of the Missal of 1962 will have some place that isn’t inside of a crypt or three dozen miles from the nearest town to go to.

And my friend says it’s great, in tones that are anything but gliberal,

Because he’s all in favor of people being allowed, as far as it is humanly possible, to worship in the way that they want to worship, and he says that he feels this way not because he’s a fan of this or that Rite, but because he’s a true and proper liberal.

Ogden Nashing of Teeth…

There is little that can top, for quickness,

The dramatic reordering of priorities and general emancipation from worries about the mortgage or your childrens’ future brought on by an acute bout of intenstinal sickness.

Put another way, when you’re hunched over a midnight toilet,

It doesn’t matter too much whether the addition of another stanza will serve to perfect the poem you’re working on, or, more likely, to spoil it.

Nashing of Teeth

Finally sat down and gave a good listen to my most astonishing Christmas present: The Ogden Nash Soundbook – four tapes of the man himself reading his own work. It made me so very happy. Thinking of starting a new bit of doggerel myself…

Are you tired of peace?
Are you tired of sitting around in harmony with your fellow man, watching the length of your days increase?
Would you thrill to even the imaginary shedding of blood?
The cartoonish clash of the Bunny and Mr. Fudd?
If you are, if you would,
If you think the setting of mother against daughter and father against son and brother against brother is a positive good,
And you need a causus bellum more powderkegish than Burgundy vs. Bordeaux
Walk into a room full of Catholics and ask, “Tridentine or Novus Ordo?”