Four Brief Poems on Four Different Ways to Show You Really Love Language

Stone Tablets, Codices, or E-Books
Whichever you prefer, but we still all agree
that what we want is more philology.

A Proper Denunciation
Pronouncing French
makes my mouth clench,
and words in German
are difficult to determine,
while so rapid is Spanish
that it seems to vanish.
Words sound like mush in
in my mouth, if Russian,
and it’s best there aren’t so
many to hear my Esperanto.
My mistakes in Italian
could form a battalion
and just hearing Chinese
makes my brain freeze—
all this is why I am a fan
of ASL (or “Ameslan”)

Preservation and Compassion
Is it a good idea to curb a guide
who keeps committing verbicide?

How to Succeed at Poetry
after Henry Carey
All you poets of this new age,
witty types who strut the stage,
introverts who won’t get out,
extroverts who show no doubt—
Let your guide be an ambivert
such as Namby Pamby—blurt
out your vices and lines no more,
polish them up, but don’t bore!


  1. Big Jon Bully says

    Good especially the last one (though you will be hunted and killed [verbally] by frequenters of poetry slams[too close to home] ).

    You forgot Esperanto.

  2. Rufus McCain says

    I think these are
    My favorites so far.

  3. Big Jon Bully says

    All of these nearly make a complete poem. Great comeback by McCain.


    You people are the B.E.S.T.

    All we need now is Southern Expat.

    The band is getting back together.

    Admit it, you’re happy for intangible reasons now.

  4. There’s the sense of Ogdennashian mission creep in these – but I like it!

    Good onya!


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