From the Korrektiv Katalog of Kristmas Katalogs

Via Deadspin:

“Why do I need the “A Bit More” setting when it already has twelve browning levels? Why don’t I just go to the next browning level? OH BUT THIS WAFFLE MAKER GOES TO ELEVEN, YOU SEE. I also own a $300 alarm clock that has a “Just A Soupcon Extra Of Shuteye Darling!” button instead of the standard, guttural SNOOZE button. Please note that W-S suggests you top your waffles with “cranberry-apple compote”. You people with your fucking compotes. If it were up to you, everything would be a compote.”

H/T: Sis-in-law Elizabeth.

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Comments

Lansing Priest says

December 12, 2013 at 7:48 pm

I can’t remember the last time I laughed that hard. Thank you. My favorites: assorted chocolates, rimming sugar, bread basket assorted muffins and personal monogrammed steak brander. Go read them all.

lickona says

December 12, 2013 at 8:37 pm

What’s fun is that the New Mexico Nurse emailed me this at something like six o’clock this morning. My response to him then: “He gets extra points for using ‘soupcon.'”

Jonathan Webb says

December 12, 2013 at 8:49 pm

Anyone who doesn’t like waffles deserves mistrust.

- Ordell Robbie says
  
  December 14, 2013 at 2:27 am
  
  Me and you go to Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles on me.
  
  Think about it now. That ‘scoe’s special, smothered in gravy and onions, side of red beans and rice, some greens. That’s some good eatin.
  
  - Angelico Nguyen, Esq., OP says
    
    December 14, 2013 at 2:39 am
    
    Any time of day is a good time for waffles.
    
  - Southern Expat says
    
    December 16, 2013 at 5:34 pm
    
    Y’all just trollin’.
    
Jonathan Potter says

December 13, 2013 at 12:42 pm

LOL’d at this: “This is what I want to do, and tell me if I’m going overboard here: I want to brand a cow, kill that cow, cook a steak from its carcass, BRAND the steak, serve the steak at a party so that people know it’s mine even though they already saw me grilling it, and then I want to eat the steak, shit it out, BRAND my shit with some kind of forged iron shit brand, and mail that turd to the cow’s children.”

- Angelico Nguyen, Esq., OP says
  
  December 14, 2013 at 2:16 am
  
  It’s all about getting your brand out there.
  
- Jonathan Webb says
  
  December 14, 2013 at 9:24 am
  
  Hysterical.