Brideshead Transplanted

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The New York Times real estate section is currently featuring a Majorcan farm dating to the 13th century. A few of the heartbreaking details about the $5 million property:

“The 8,000-square-foot manor house is the centerpiece of the 40-acre property, which has been owned by the same family since 1790.”

“In a nook off one of the living rooms, right, is a small chapel where Mass  has been celebrated weekly for centuries.”

“[A] dwelling, used historically for baking bread, is one of several unrenovated outbuildings included in the sale.”

“An ancient reservoir helps with irrigation.”


  1. The Duffer says

    I know it’s only stuff, but I hate it when people have to sell it–especially when it’s full of wood and crosses. Any chance the Kollektiv could pool its resources and open a writer’s retreat? I’ll be caretaker.

    • Matthew Lickona says

      Right? A chapel, used weekly for Mass…for centuries? Now it’s gonna be, I don’t know, a multimedia nook. This family has been in this house for roughly as long as America has been a country. The place has 15 bedrooms…

  2. Angelico Nguyen, Esq., OP says

    Change and decay in all around I see….

  3. OK. Done. I just purchased it.

    (I put it on the charge card.)

    Now, the OBs will be ready to move in next week. Let me know when you’re all coming for a visit – stay as long as you like; the guest quarters are actually quite large – it was once a convent for as many as 30 nuns – with it’s own kitchen and a multi-chambered wine cellar.

    Duff – sorry to say, while you’re still welcomed as caretaker – there’s actually a 10,000 square-foot servant’s house down the lane in the elbow of a willow-flanked creek (don’t let the word creek fool you though, – the placidly moving neck of water looks more like a docile underachieving river, if you ask me.) So you’re welcomed to stay there – for free even. But my wife will not be deterred. She’s already said goodbye to her family – and we’ll be returning the family plot we purchased at the local parish.

    From here on out, our flesh will once day become Majorcan soil and vice versa. (Incidentally, the Diocese of Majorca is publishing an English-only daily and the editor said he needs someone to write for the Culture beat. I really couldn’t refuse… He said it’s only two hours a day – and comes with a triple digit salary and bennys. I couldn’t really refuse… There are a few other positions open too – same salary, same bennys: one to write the poetry reviews, one to write the wine reviews, one to write the fiction reviews, one to write the technology reviews – especially on website designing, one to serve as legal counsel (you don’t have to be a lawyer in Majorca for such a position, but only working toward it) and one to write whatever the hell he wants as long as its “sufficiently creepy and fable-like” – the editor’s exact words.)

    Speaking of Majorca – where did I hear that name before?

    Some poem or something…


    • Matthew Lickona says

      Or something.

      You know, I think you’re a pretty trustworthy fellow. So I’d be inclined to believe all of this. Except we both know that Mrs. OB is never leaving Darkest Wisconsin – at least, not the part of her that goes into the ground.

      • Matthew Lickona says

        P.S. I expect to see “The Official English-Only Daily of the Diocese of Majorca” on the Korrektiv masthead any minute now.

      • Which is why we’re having 8 billion tons of Wisconsin black earth from Black Earth, Wisconsin (,_Wisconsin) shipped over – we’re going to just cover the place with it…


        We’ve invited the SSPX to move in and provide the theo-political infrastructure with all triumphalist attitudes attendant. In fact, so impressed were they by the offer that soon after we move in, they plan on reconciling with the Vatican – news which Pope Francis met with such joy that he immediately replaced Piero Marini with Bishop Fellay as the prefect of the Congregation of Divine Worship. In the meantime, he plans on collapsing the SSPX and the Legionnaires of Christ into one society of apostolic life.

        In the meantime, it’s true, Majorca will become the first Latin-only nation state since the Vatican State was established. There will, however, be an English indulgence provided by Pope Francis.


        • Matthew Lickona says

          The English have always been indulgent.


          The Wife says that if I can get the money together, we can go.

  4. Southern Expat says

    The countryside actually looks a lot like south central Texas.

    • Matthew Lickona says

      Or Southern California. But neither of those places is sailing distance from Barcelona, Marseilles, or on a good day, Rome. And there is precious little 13th-century architecture here, though we do have plenty of Tuscan-style villas.

  5. Lansing Priest says

    Do you need a humble parish priest as a secondary chaplain? I’d be willing to learn the EF and can already celebrate all the sacraments of the OF in Latin. I’m sure I come much cheaper than the SSPX priests.

    • You didn’t get your invitation yet?

      Well, I wanted it to be a surprise, but, really, it’s all settled, as a matter of fact; you should be receiving your letters of incardination sometime in the next few weeks.

      Also, fiddlebacks in black (white, pshaw!), rose and gold.

      Just one question remains: biretta or capello romano or both?


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