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A toast

Here’s what you need to know for this one. Flannery O’Connor shares a birthday with The Wife (March 25). Flannery O’Connor gained early fame for having a chicken that could walk forwards and backwards. A critter got into our coop two weeks ago and ate all our chickens. Yesterday, a kind soul donated five laying hens to The Wife, but they had been kept previously in quarters that were too close. As a result, they pecked each other, and all but one has a backside that is bereft of feathers.


Flannery O’Connor’s hen

Was trained in ways that I am not

She’d walk the line and back again

Whilst I just slip or hold my spot.


Now Deirdre Katherine, once called Scholl

Has chickens five, with backsides bare

And my frequent slips of mind and soul

Leave me as exposed back there


But Flannery and Deirdre, too

Found grace and truth in frightening things

O’Connor in the things freaks do

And Deirdre in our wedding rings


So they drop eggs and I raise wine

For our divine apothecary

She covers both their ass and mine

Southern California gothic – scary.


  1. A Great Pyrenees – you need a Great Pyrenees. One bark and a thousand racoons instantly fall dead and a thousand possums play dead for real.

    If you got chickens, it’s the only way to go.

    They like kids; they love cats; and find coons/possums/old deer carcases absolutely irresistable…

    Happy birthday, Deirdre!


  2. Jonathan Potter says

    Deirdre’s fowls
    Might need some towels
    For modesty’s sake
    Until they bake.

    Happy D-day!

  3. Jonathan Webb says

    If Paris deserves a Mass then Deirdre certainly deserves a poem.


  4. Jonathan Webb says

    Remember that even though chickens are stupid they are incredibly paranoid, so make sure to kill them with one bite.

  5. Damn good … I’ll drink to that!

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