Lance Armstrong is a big fucking asshole. That seems to be the emerging consensus in the wake of his confession. One of the experts on the subject is Mike Anderson, a former mechanic and personal assistant to Armstrong. In Anderson’s recent interview with Sports Illustrated, what may be of interest to readers of Korrektiv is that Anderson mentions Kierkegaard.
SI: Is there anything Lance can say to Oprah that would be meaningful to you or that you make you contemplate forgiveness?
Anderson: I’ve thought about that a lot in the last few days. I was reading [philosopher] Soren Kierkegaard. Part of what he talks about is forgiveness and guilt and anxiety and the roots of it all. … I still have these notions of forgiveness and turn the other cheek. But I wonder, what are the reasons? Who benefits from forgiveness. Me? To unload bitterness I have against Lance and Bill Stapleton and people who lied and ridiculed me? Or is it for Lance? The sinner, conceptually, if you will. Or for both of us? I just don’t know if it will do me any good whatsoever to say lets let bygones be bygones. The cynicism I have about the whole thing, there’s no contrition in Lance Armstrong’s heart. It’s a calculated effort. For what purpose, I don’t know. I don’t see it as at all meaningful.
I’m curious about that ellipsis (…) following “forgiveness and guilt and anxiety and the roots of it all.” Did Anderson say more about his reading of our man K that the SI editors deemed too philosophical for their brain-damaged readership? Here’s our chance for some real investigative reportage, K-team. Get on it!
See also: “[Catholic mom] Betsy Andreu always knew that Lance Armstrong doped”
See Also:
There once was a man from Sinope
Who went round with a lamp in the hope he
Might find someone honest —
So, did he light on this
Strange creature? Burnt-out, he’d sigh, ‘Nope.’
What is really great about this poem is the word you don’t use, or the way you don’t use it.
Like Lance spinning his wheels around true contrition.
Misanthrope?
Pope of Dope
Sure sounds like the guy has crossed over his 70,000 fathoms. Great find, El Pot.
That guy is sharp. But, he’s out of luck. And he’s out on an island. The fact is that Lance went to the pop culture vatican and met with the pope who provided absolution and that’s all there is to it. He took the walk of shame. Look for a reality show starring Armstrong now. It doesn’t matter whether he is or is not a fucking asshole. He isn’t Lance Armstrong cyclist, or Lance Armstrong cheater. All that matters is that he is Lance Armstrong celebrity. If Stalin were alive today he would have his own Judge Joseph show and the masses would cheer.
Reading Kierkegaard? That day has come and gone. Things have flipped. If you can possibly find an available AR-15 I recommend that you buy one and keep a good eye on your kids because they would make an excellent source of protein (tender and juicy).
These are prescient observations, Big Jon, but what I want is an exclusive Korrektiv interview with Mike Anderson on the subject of Kierkegaard.
I think only time will tell if LA has been absolved. Rumor has it that the DOJ is considering joining in on Landis’ lawsuit. WADA and USADA want his head on a spike, and Tygart is every bit as determined as LA. I think it was a calculated move, but good grief, he didn’t seem the least bit remorseful. I think there’s a chance that people will want to take him down now more than ever.
They will only prosecute if he is not remorseful is what you’re saying and I for one believe you. They will go for the maximum consecutive sentence totalling 47 years 3 months which he’ll plea bargain down to 7 years. They will room him at Supermax between Conrad Black and that guy who tried to build a dirty bomb.
Never lie to Oprah.
Here’s hoping, Mr Bully. That could be the first scene of the Conrad Black volume of Lives of Famous Catholics.
Potter should track him down and get the interview, then he can join us as a guest blogger.
Track him down Mr. Pot-ter.
After the downfall of civilization,
1) Cubeland Mystic will become the reluctant leader of a scattered monastic revival that will grow in proportion to the persecution it suffers, while
2) Big Jon, Bully establishes himself as the paramount secular power on the West Coast.
Oh dread.
Coincidentally, Kierkegaard wrote a book on that. Full circle, people.
A helpful reminder: Good Country People’s first album will be entitled Beer and Stumbling.
Wags.
You know, you needed to be so insider to get that comment that it is a moment of pride that I did get it.
Pride, Caution
My work is finished.
See this also!
The yellow bracelet won’t get you laid anymore.
What the hell happened? The Kollektiv sounds like it has completely escaped my clutches! The energy! The probity! The bite!
I don’t even know you guys any more.