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Catalog Living (and Dying)

Apparently, Gary and Elaine are getting a little dark for 2013.

Screen Shot 2012-12-31 at 6.30.46 PM

“Oh, stop squirming, Elaine. That lamp was no one we know.”

[Just saw The Texas Chainsaw Massacre for the first time – on YouTube! The bone-heavy, hand-made decor of the Sawyer home was a huge part of the film’s power.]


  1. Currently available at IKEA.

  2. When was the last time you bought a hot dog at a movie theater?

    For me is was last week.


  3. Quin Finnegan says

    I recently watched Black Hawk Down on my iPod after downloading an HD version from YouTube, and then Deja Vu (not HD), with Denzel Washington. Both were great. Just realized these movies were directed by brothers, BHD by Ridley Scott, DV by his brother Tony Scott. Funny, that.

    Regarding hot dogs, I don’t know if I’ve ever bought one at a movie theater. This might be because my third job (after the paper route and then washing dishes at the old folks’ home) was at the John Danz movie theater in Bellevue WA, and my first assignment there was to use a napkin to wipe the grease off the dogs as they spun around on the rollers under the heat lamp (as discreetly as possible–I was even supposed to take them into the back room, where customers wouldn’t see what I was up to, but I always thought this was *more* humiliating for being achieved in private). They were supposedly more presentable when they weren’t spinning in a thick coat of oil. I argued that the dogs would take a little longer to turn into the dry, shrivelled sausages they invariably became if the grease were left where it belonged, but my manager always insisted this wasn’t the case.

    This manager was an amazing guy, despite his penchant for cooking plump Ballpark bratwurst into crusty old Slim Jims. He was Danish (grounds, perhaps, for the length of this comment) and as a young man had been an official observer at the liberation of Dachau, then later worked as an interpretor at the Nuremburg trials. After that he made a living as a professional ballroom dancer, and after emigrating to America went to work for Arthur Murray. At maybe 6’3″ or 6’4″ he was still something of a dapper giant when I met him in the early 1980s, even though he was at least 350 pounds. He drove a white Fleetwood Cadillac that listed left as soon as he climbed in. A very sweet guy. It was an honor to have known him.

    • Angelico Nguyen, Esq., OP says

      That theater signage alone was worth the [cool] story, bro. I do wonder if blotter paper might have served better than a serviette, but that’s water — or oil — under the bridge.

      Re BHD: My brother showed it to me during Christmas Winter Longhu6 Christmas Break. He said it’s still a pretty good depiction of modern warfare, even 20 years after the incident depicted and 10+ years after the making of the movie. Some of the survivors are still in the Army, in which capacity he’s met them. (Certified?) He said about 90% of the Army has seen the movie, and 90% of that 90% can, in various circumstances, quote it appositely.

      Re Deja Vu: It was co-written by Bill Marsilii, who’s been involved with Act One.

    • Matthew Lickona says

      Quin, I love you like a brother, but movies on your iPod? See also. Also, this grumpy guy is not a fan of Tony Scott. As for BHD, I was pretty damn distracted by the bits of fetishization – those spent rounds hitting the floor in slo-mo struck me as the worst kind of gun porn. Let me know what you think of Zero Dark Thirty. I much preferred its depiction of a military operation in action.

      • Quin Finnegan says

        I only did it twice, and it won’t happen again. Yeesh.

        As for the Scott Bros., well, I guess I agree with you there, too. For years I confined myself to movies directed by Buñuel and Antonioni and such, but after a while nobody would talk to me any more. So I started branching out. A little Bergman, a little Malle … then Kubrick, and then look at what happened. I was the Big Man at every party, but I felt empty inside. An emptiness I tried to fill by watching … I don’t know, Straw Dogs or something, and then pretending that I actually cared about it.

        Big Mistake. I just put four Renoir films at the top of my Netflix queue. That takes care of that!

  4. Angelico Nguyen, Esq., OP says

    Question: Why was not a single table designed as such rather than being a non-table doing duty as a table?

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