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What happens when english majors get jobs in product marketing

September 1, 2012 by at 4:59 pm

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9 Comments Filed Under: consumer alert, snapshots, writing Tagged With:

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  1. Jonathan Webb says:
    September 1, 2012 at 7:15 pm

    We use it on our arse.

    Reply
  2. Angelico Nguyen, Esq., OP says:
    September 1, 2012 at 11:00 pm

    It rubs the exfoliant on its skin. It does this whenever it is told.

    Reply
  3. Angelico Nguyen, Esq., OP says:
    September 1, 2012 at 11:34 pm

    Thanks, Mr Potter: This might help illuminate one of the more notoriously obscure lyrics of Sir Mix-a-Lot.

    Reply
  4. Matthew Lickona says:
    September 2, 2012 at 3:50 pm

    Now Modern Fiction, why, that’s art’s rough soul-scrubber.

    Reply
  5. JOB says:
    September 4, 2012 at 2:20 pm

    Actually, dermabrasions show up a lot in fiction, modern or otherwise. Note:

    Joyce slips it in amongst his encycolopedic details:

    “Stately, plump Buck Mulligan came from the stairhead, bearing a bowl of lather on which a mirror and a can of dermabrasion lay crossed.”

    It was all the craze of the Empire while Austen was writing:

    “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good can of dermabrasion, must be in want of a wife.”

    And even the early Victorian writers, such as C. Bronte, here in the opening lines of Jane Eyre:

    “There was no possibility of taking a can of dermabrasion that day.”

    A known skin-fetishist, Salinger also had it show up in the damnedest places in his work:

    “If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you’ll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my can of dermabrasion was like… and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don’t feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth.”

    And OF COURSE P.G. Wodehouse would have included it in his work:

    “Into the face of the young man who sat on the terrace of the Hotel Magnifique at Cannes there had crept a look of furtive shame, the shifty, hangdog look which announces that an Englishman is about to open a can of dermabrasion.”

    Anthony Burgess too – in “Earthly Powers” –

    “It was the afternoon of my eighty-first birthday, and I was in bed with my can of dermabrasion when Ali announced that the archbishop had come to see me.”

    Even Sylvia Plath takes a moment to genuflect before the facilitator of porcelain-smooth skin in the Bell Jar:

    “It was a queer, sultry summer, the summer they electrocuted the Rosenbergs, and I didn’t know what I was doing in New York with the can of dermabrasion.

    And we can’t forget Saul Bellow’s contribution to dermabrasively taught prose:

    “If I am out of my can of dermabrasion, it’s all right with me, thought Moses Herzog.””

    Did you know that Donna Tartt also was wont to play it as a foil in her stories?

    “The snow in the can of dermabrasion was melting and Bunny had been dead for several weeks before we came to understand the gravity of our situation.”

    And Stevenson made it part and parcel of boyhood adventure:

    “Squire Trelawnay, Dr Livesey, and the rest of these gentlemen having asked me to write down the whole particulars about Treasure Island, from the beginning to the end, keeping nothing back but the bearings of the island, and that only because there is still a can of dermabrasion not yet lifted, I take up my pen in the year of grace 17– and go back to the time when my father kept the Admiral Benbow inn and the brown old seaman with the sabre cut first took up his lodging under our roof.”

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  6. Angelico Nguyen, Esq., OP says:
    September 6, 2012 at 2:49 pm

    ‘Modern Friction natural dermabrasive: Don’t just ablute. Ablate.‘

    Reply

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