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For the Neko Case fans in the house…

…a bit of thoroughly nasty satire, starring Ms. Case as a blonde pop tart. This should probably be on the Supplemental (it comes within a finger-width of being its own entry for Today in Porn), but I don’t have access over there.


  1. I’m speechless.

  2. Oh, pretty girls. You’re too good for this.

    • Matthew Lickona says

      Say more. Is it that it’s not worth savaging the pop tart phenomenon? I posted it because there’s a pretty strong devotion to Case on the blog, and I was curious as to what folks would make of it.

      • Angelico Nguyen, Esq., OP says

        A ‘test Case’, if you will.

        • Angelico, did anyone inform you that during our collective reading of Surfing with Scapulars, I mean Swimming, I mean Mel, at the Gerasene Writer’s Conference, we spent at least three minutes passing around my computer and remarking on your face? Somehow your photograph appeared in my Gmail account when I was opening the file, and I said, “Is that Angelico?” Then there were some ooh’s and ahh’s. I think Betty Duffy even swooned.

          • Matthew Lickona says

            My client can neither confirm nor deny the existence of any such photo, or, for that matter, any such face.

            • Angelico Nguyen, Esq., OP says

              You know full well I’m not your client. I have consistently maintained, since around 4:00 P.M. on or about the following day, that we never entered into a valid contract: I was incompetent when you got me to sign that retainer agreement, and if I have to go to court to prove it, I will.

              • “Now, Mr. Nguyen, you say the defendant forced you to drink four Brandy Alexanders in rapid succession, cackling, ‘Down the little red lane they go’ as he did so, and that this rendered you unable to enter into a binding contract. Would you care to demonstrate to the court exactly what happened?”

                • Angelico Nguyen, Esq., OP says

                  ‘Dear me. It really is not a thing the ladies — or, for that matter, the younger gentlemen — on the jury ought to witness. Anyhow, this sort of act really calls for a more intimate venue; so I suppose what the answer to your question really hinges on is the quantity of the glassware, and the quality of the bwandy, stocked in the judge’s ch-chambers.’

          • Angelico Nguyen, Esq., OP says

            Ellen, this is news to me. I appreciate the way you describe reactions to my face on the screen in terms that could equally well apply to Rudolph Valentino or Lon Chaney. Caritas in Veritate indeed; thanks awfully.

            • Actually, what happened was that Betty, Ellen, and I all stared at Angelico’s photo, and I said. “Wow. Angelico is young. And cute.” And all our paradigms were messed up, and heads exploded. You have to understand our frame of reference, sitting there with Matthew and O’Brien.

              • Angelico Nguyen, Esq., OP says

                I’ve met O’Brien and shouldn’t have thought him too bad, so (realizing though I do that you speak for yourself only and not for an entire sex) your opinion is interesting, and maybe even instructive, to one who grew up sisterless; and certainly I know what you mean about Matthew. Glad to have given you all a few minutes’ pleasant distraction, then.

                (Meanwhile, in the unremembered, humming lightlessness of a Bebo server rack, the profile picture of Angelico Nguyen grew hideous….)

              • hee hee. It was a paradigm shifting experience indeed, Mrs. Darwin.

                I totally thought Angelico was 42 years old, that exact age, not even “in his forties” but exactly 42. I don’t know why.

                • Well, you have to understand that this was the night BEFORE O’Brien shaved his beard.

                  42: the answer to everything!

                  • We are all as God made us, and often a good deal worse. I was tricked – they told me alcohol was a preservative.

                    • Angelico Nguyen, Esq., OP says

                      Ellen: While we’re korrekting expectations, I might as well mention that velvet is a textile my own living quarters also — distinctly — lack. (Now I suppose you’ll want to tell the world that no, your floors and ceilings aren’t actually tessellated with beguiling Moorish mosaics; please resist the urge, and allow our poor straitened imaginations that much liberty at least!)

                      MrsDarwin: Not only everything; life and the universe, too!

                      lickona: You’re damaged? Apparently, all the Graham Greene and Philip Larkin has prematurely aged my soul!

                    • Cry me a river – being immaterial, a soul cannot feel the ravages of age, only the improvements.

                    • Angelico Nguyen, Esq., OP says

                      ‘Only the improvements?’ Really???

                      Who told you that? Some saint?


      • Nah, I like it. I will probably share it on Facebook, and then like my own post. The thing is my Neko love is totally blind. I would love pretty much anything she did, well, except for her appearance in Country Living. I found myself oddly depressed by that.

          • Ellen,

            But ah God love ’em the locals are commenting in the combox: arguing about whether it’s the Green Mountains or the White Mountains she can see from her back door.

            There’s almost something …. Percyian about that! Forget the celeb, let’s sure as shootin’ get our anyplace between someplace and no place correct!

            That at least partially redeems the thing – at least on line (is that a double irony you’re sporting there Mr. JOB?)


            • Matthew Lickona says

              Oh, man, this is hilarious: “She has four more upright pianos in this barn, among other rescued treaures — ranging from a pile of archery equipment to cast-off doors and windows to a bathtub. ‘I’ve been collecting this stuff from thrift stores and junk shops since I was 16, though it’s now called hoarding, I guess,’ she says, wryly. ‘I try to get everything used.'”

              Well, yes, everything except everything we just learned about in all those photos of your house, loaded with designer furniture and locally quarried marble countertops. Wryly, indeed!

              • Love the comment thread from the locals. And yes, if they had shown photos of the barn, I probably would have thought, “Yes, that’s the Neko I know.” But her house was so…Anthropologie. I mean, don’t get me wrong: I love Anthropologie. I keep all of my diamonds in bird cages. But I just didn’t envision that for Neko. I wanted to see some ashtrays sitting around (remember those?) all full to the brim with cigarette butts and maybe one broken window that she hasn’t gotten around to fixin’, with a big, fat, old, dirty cat staring through from the other side, and velvet. Her house needs more velvet, like velvet curtains or a velvet couch or something, and it should be darker.

  3. Ick Factor on “HIGH.”


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