Today In Materialism – Soylent Pink Edition

USDA is buying 7 million pounds of pink slime for school lunch programs.

Officially termed “Lean Beef Trimmings,” the product is a ground-up combination of beef scraps, cow connective tissues and other beef trimmings that are treated with ammonium hydroxide to kill pathogens like salmonella and E. coli. It’s then blended into traditional meat products like ground beef and hamburger patties.

When I come into my village after a long fast out on the desert I often get guff from the villagers. I hear their scorn, “Oh look here comes mystic, lets get off the street because he will say something negative!” OR “Go back to the desert mystic, we don’t want you to kill our buzz!” I can’t blame them, they are probably all juiced up on Zoloft. Human kind cannot bear very much reality. But seriously, how can one be positive when our taxes go to pay for people to buy “Lean Beef Trimmings” for school lunch programs? It is basically gristle mixed with poison, and then mixed into hamburger so you can feed more children for less money. This is the extent of government imagination–feed poison to kids. At their trial I can hear the defense now, “Hey I was just following orders.” With all the other crap going on in the world today, this is like pouring ammonium hydroxide into the wounds.

Oh yeah and this, Ryanair is proposing serving up adult features for in-flight entertainment. Can you imagine your twelve year old son sitting next to some dude watching a porno on a flight from London to Italy? I guess Ryanair can. Maybe you’ll get a Soylent pink burger with your in-flight entertainment, and a happy landing? Perhaps somewhere in Greece.

Comments

  1. lickona says:

    “Happy landing” is my new favorite euphemism. For death.

    • Angelico Nguyen, Esq., OP says:

      lickona:

      ‘Happy Landing’ sounds like a section of Whispering Glades reserved for the jumbled, inside-out, pink-slime remains of Loved Ones who died in aeronautical disasters.

      Cubeland Mystic:

      Re ‘Lean Beef Trimmings’, thanks for the consumer alert. I thought there was something ‘off’ about the strawberry popsicles nowadays.

      • Cubeland Mystic says:

        A
        Thanks for reminding me about Pepsi. I forgot to mention the fetal tissue soft drinks. Dude, I know its not me. The whole world is mad. I am the normal one. And don’t eat the freakin chicken nuggets. It’s all wrong.

        Delete that last comment.

  2. Cubeland Mystic says:

    And when you die, they will grind you up into “Lean Beef Trimmings” and you become part of the school lunch program. Just saying.

  3. Cubeland Mystic says:

    Did I really write that? It is going to be a rough weekend with the mystic. I can foresee it. Some might even achieve enlightenment.

  4. Well, this is particularly charming in light of the fact that in NC they are examining children’s homemade lunches and making them eat chicken nuggets if their mom’s food doesn’t comply with guidelines.

    AMDG

  5. Cubeland Mystic says:

    Do you have any articles about the NC incident?

    If you don’t mind and it is not too personal what does AMDG stand for? I am acronymically challenged.

  6. http://dailycaller.com/2012/02/14/nanny-state-report-nc-school-officials-confiscate-preschoolers-homemade-lunch/

    Well, here’s one. I just did a search for North Carolina school lunch and found many things, many of which are Rush Limbaugh, but please don’t take that to mean that I am a fan of Mr. Limbaugh.

    AMDG-Ad Majorem (or maiorem if you a a complete Latin purist) Dei Gloriam, which means “To the Greater Glory of God.” I have to admit that not everything I write lives up to this very well, but at least it keeps me from sending messages that are virulently noncharitable.

    AMDG

  7. Make that “uncharitable.”

    AMDG

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