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The Last Gentlemen

January 9, 2012 by at 7:41 pm

57 Comments Filed Under: etc Tagged With: , , , ,

Comments

  1. MrsDarwin says:
    January 9, 2012 at 8:37 pm

    I have nothing to say to this other than that I’d buy that book. Right now.

    Reply
  2. Jonathan Potter says:
    January 9, 2012 at 10:02 pm

    All I remember is I was having a spate of boot-to-pants wardrobe malfunction that weekend.

    Reply
    • Angelico Nguyen, Esq., OP says:
      January 9, 2012 at 10:59 pm

      Of the ‘boot-top-versus-pant-cuff’ type, I suppose — in other words, not of the ‘edifying’ kind.

      Reply
    • BettyDuffy says:
      January 10, 2012 at 5:45 am

      I was going to say that those boots are the most exciting things I’ve seen on this blog in a long time. But I’m the kind of person who googles “boots” when I’m bored. True story.

      Reply
      • Matthew Lickona says:
        January 10, 2012 at 7:54 am

        When in disgrace with Google and gal’s eyes,
        I all alone beweep my unshod state,
        And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries,
        And look upon my feet and curse my fate,
        Wishing mine like his, boots more rich in feel,
        Ankled like him, like him with boots possess’d,
        Desiring this boot’s rise, and that boot’s heel,
        With flats I most enjoy contented least.
        Yet in these thoughts my boots almost despising,
        Haply I think on Jobe, and then my state,
        Like to stilettos five inches high arising
        From sullen earth, to make my calves look great;
        For thy sweet boots are fitted with elastic
        And that I scorn as if they sported plastic.

        Reply
        • Matthew Lickona says:
          January 10, 2012 at 7:56 am

          Oh, never mind. I put Jobe in there and then veered in another direction. Joke’s over.

          Reply
          • Matthew Lickona says:
            January 10, 2012 at 8:03 am

            TAGGED WITH: ANGELICO I AIN’T.

            Reply
            • MrsDarwin says:
              January 10, 2012 at 8:06 am

              Dude, stop these feeble attempts to make the rest of us feel better because in our spare time, instead of whipping out clever parodies in sonnet form, we sit around eating cold cereal from the box and reading comboxes.

              Reply
            • Angelico Nguyen, Esq., OP says:
              January 10, 2012 at 1:36 pm

              ‘Matt Lickona’

              Whenever Matt Lickona wrote a post,
              We in the combox read what he would say:
              He was an easy, entertaining host,
              Self-deprecating, in a clever way.

              And though prolific, he was far from old,
              And had a solid memoir to his name;
              But though he’d yet to heap up hills of gold,
              We knew he’d someday scale the heights of fame.

              And there was beauty in his life each day –
              His locks, though sliver-tinged, would not thin out,
              His bride rose like an army in array,
              His children flourished like the olive sprout.

              So on we worked by day, and wrote at night,
              And slogged through ceaseless drafts, rewrote and cut;
              And Matt Lickona, every other night
              Went home and put a shot into his gut.

              Reply
              • Jonathan Potter says:
                January 10, 2012 at 5:33 pm

                This needs to be framed and hung over the Lickona liquor cabinet.

                Reply
                • Matthew Lickona says:
                  January 10, 2012 at 8:00 pm

                  I hate all of you. Angelico, do you really mean “So on we worked”? Seems like “So on he worked” works better. And what’s this nonsense about every OTHER night? Anyway, I think I should just stop trying now – there’s no way I can live up to the the hopes of even those who are friendly toward me. This was just supposed to be a thing that happened – I went somewhere that turned out to be interesting enough to write about. Now it’s going to be the failed second memoir. I think I need to strap on some stiletto heels and put on a kicky dress and go out on the town and forget all this writing nonsense.

                  Reply
                  • Jonathan Potter says:
                    January 10, 2012 at 9:40 pm

                    “… and he glittered when he walked”

                    Reply
                    • Angelico Nguyen, Esq., OP says:
                      January 10, 2012 at 10:38 pm

                      You see what I did there!

                    • Matthew Lickona says:
                      January 11, 2012 at 12:20 am

                      Well of course he does. And I? I work on his bloggy site. And I curse my occupation. And I wish that I could write. Yes, I wish that I could write…

                  • Southern Expat says:
                    January 10, 2012 at 10:13 pm

                    You stole “kicky” from my post about LEGO, I just know it.

                    Reply
                    • Angelico Nguyen, Esq., OP says:
                      January 10, 2012 at 10:43 pm

                      Maybe yall should have a ‘Korrektiv-for-girls’ brand.

                      ‘Kicky’ does begin with ‘K’.

                    • Angelico Nguyen, Esq., OP says:
                      January 10, 2012 at 10:55 pm

                      P.S. That’s cute, Expat, the way you pretend it isn’t you.

                  • Angelico Nguyen, Esq., OP says:
                    January 10, 2012 at 10:38 pm

                    It’s part of the perverse charm of this place that I have no idea how seriously to take your comment. Just in case, I’ll put this in prose so you’ll know I’m not ‘spoofing’ you:

                    Please don’t let the weight of my expectations crush this project, because Psalm 118 and the the Star Wars prequel debacle taught me not to rely on human works. I’m just glad to exist, like a Percian ‘ex-suicide’, and anything else is icing on the cake. A new Lickona tome, as welcome as it would be, might not even be icing on the cake, but a sprinkle on the icing — and there’d be nothing wrong with that. So: New Orleans travelogue? Second memoir? City-hall expose? Mad Men spec script? Pop-up book? Whatevs! All is grace!

                    That’s (obviously) not to say your work might not prove to be stronger nourishment and/or medicine than a sprinkle on the icing on the cake. Swimming with Scapulars was more than that. But as a Korrektiv fanboy, I happen to enjoy your perspective and the way you express it, and am grateful for whatever you, the muse, and the marketplace may combine to give. (That goes for every other member of the Kollektiv, too.)

                    You may have an infinite number of valid reasons not to write, but modest hopes of this member of the Peanut Gallery surely aren’t among them.

                    In sum: I hereby dispense you from an obligation you never even had.

                    And again: Good luck and Godspeed.

                    Reply
                    • Southern Expat says:
                      January 10, 2012 at 10:52 pm

                      Hey, Angelico, I meant to tell you congratulations on gaining a Gravatar.

                    • Angelico Nguyen, Esq., OP says:
                      January 10, 2012 at 10:57 pm

                      Thanks, ma’am! Figured it was time to become a ‘power user’.

                    • Matthew Lickona says:
                      January 11, 2012 at 12:29 am

                      Very kind of you, sir. I will keep writing, if only because this thing won’t let me alone. Which reminds me: we are expecting a visit from JOB in February. The Wife and I would be delighted if you would join us for dinner some evening – that is, if you are in driving distance from San Diego. We could put you up if you like. Feel free to bring that Robert Simpson fellow, if he’s about. Of course, if you’d rather keep your relative anonymity and distance, we certainly understand. I don’t want to kill the goose that lays the golden comments.

                    • Angelico Nguyen, Esq., OP says:
                      January 11, 2012 at 1:37 pm

                      Mr Lickona,

                      That is extraordinarily gracious! My thanks to you and Mrs L for even considering the possibility of allowing Bob and me to darken your towels. I’m gobsmacked, and will be a monkey’s uncle.

                      Bob is reigning Kurtz-like in darkest Arkansas, and he confirmed that his travel plans won’t line up with JOB’s. But I am — and, barring any seismic cataclysm, will still be in February — just about two hours’ drive away. (Yep, a straight shot up the 405: Babylon.)

                      Much as I’ve enjoyed the distance of being one of the (apparently) few kommentators never to have met any of the Kollektiv in person, I’ve mainly tried to use that distance to offer honest opinions about you-all’s work(s) and the value of yall’s overarching project, such as there is one. I reckon the honesty of my opinions is as well or poorly established now as it ever will be. No great loss in closing that distance.

                      (As for ‘relative anonymity’, JOB already knows where I collect my mail, and under what name. No big loss there.)

                      I’ll email you in the next 24 hours or so to see if we can (begin to) work out a plan.

                      Must go now. Thank you again — VERY much.

          • Angelico Nguyen, Esq., OP says:
            January 10, 2012 at 1:04 pm

            Like to stilettos five inches high arising
            From sullen earth, to make my calves look great

            Mr Lickona, do you see yourself as a woman?

            Reply
        • BettyDuffy says:
          January 10, 2012 at 10:07 am

          There really is nothing worse than plastic boots. I’m glad someone finally made this point in language worthy of its import.

          Reply
  3. Cubeland Mystic says:
    January 10, 2012 at 10:32 am

    Recipe for a Successful Writer

    Mild substance dependency
    Catholic
    Plagued by self-doubt
    Willful material poverty
    At conflict with broader society
    Coincidental Abbey Road type photo similar to literary hero
    The tragedy of being Irish

    It seems like it is all there for being a successful writer. I beat my brains but I cannot find the missing piece here. Any thoughts?

    (BTW Great Photo!)

    Reply
    • IC says:
      January 10, 2012 at 11:00 am

      Cubeland,
      The truth unveiled.

      p.s. agree on the awesome photo. And ML, go forth and write.

      Reply
    • Matthew Lickona says:
      January 10, 2012 at 11:19 am

      Thanks, CM. The trouble is, I’m the one taking the picture. Anyway, it’s not a big book. But it was a fun trip, and I thought I’d write about it.

      Reply
  4. Churchill says:
    January 10, 2012 at 12:29 pm

    Too tired to read or type. Nice/funny photos!

    Reply
  5. MrsDarwin says:
    January 10, 2012 at 5:07 pm

    I swear I only read this blog for the comments. And… and… the photos.

    Reply
  6. Jonathan Webb says:
    January 14, 2012 at 2:45 pm

    A woman was in your room not your wife to take that pic.

    Reply
  7. Jonathan Webb says:
    January 14, 2012 at 4:26 pm

    I just self-edited. Talk about spiritual growth!

    Reply

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