Timothy Keller in Relevant Magazine:
As a pastor I have spoken to thousands of couples, some working on marriage-seeking, some working on marriage-sustaining and some working on marriage-saving. I’ve heard them say over and over, “Love shouldn’t be this hard, it should come naturally.” In response I always say something like: “Why believe that? Would someone who wants to play professional baseball say, ‘It shouldn’t be so hard to hit a fastball’? Would someone who wants to write the greatest American novel of her generation say, ‘It shouldn’t be hard to create believable characters and compelling narrative’?” The understandable retort is: “But this is not baseball or literature. This is love. Love should just come naturally if two people are compatible, if they are truly soul-mates.”
But, but…..aren’t we supposed to be happy?!?
You’re half right – your wife is supposed to be happy.
In the Finnigan household, the rules are: 1. No spinning; 2. If your goalie makes a goal and the ball goes straight in (no ricocheting off other players or walls), it’s worth two points. Oh, sorry. Did someone say “foosball”?
If you allow your opponent to score with a straight-in goalie shot, you should probably just walk away from the table right there. And hell yes, no spinning.
I had a priest tell me once, when I was griping during confession about how hard it was to get all four of my, then little, kids out the door to mass alone ( my husbands not catholic) “if it were easy, there would be no merit it in.”
This is now the motto of my whole life….thank you Father Pat, RIP.
“But Father, the Lickonas come and they just keep eating and drinking and eating and drinking and o sweet merciful heavens the talking and the talking and the talking…”
Yes LOL…well I wasn’t going to tell everyone I said that! But really it’s when I said you thought Pooh wasn’t angsty and yet still we had to cook for you and share our wine with you that Father said it……
I get along pretty well with Mrs. Mystic. There has been the occasional flair up, but she stopped putting lead shavings in my food a long time ago. It’s all good around here.
See, for me, it got better when The Wife started putting the lead shavings in. The toxicity in my cerebral cortex has built up to the point where I don’t notice much any more, and get upset at even less. I’m basically a zombie. Plus, there’s booze. Cheers.
LOL
Lead shavings are probably OK in trace quantities. But you know something’s wrong if she starts dosing you with saltpeter.
If you think marriage is easy, you’re probably making it difficult for someone else.
‘It shouldn’t be hard to create believable characters and compelling narrative’?
Or a fricking OPENING PARAGRAPH.
Endings are easy. Beginnings are hard.
Endings are SOFT. Beginnings are hard.
Also, there’s something to be said for some aspects of marriage becoming easier as you go. At least, that is, if you are cultivating the virtues in marriage.
I’ve heard it said that an acti is not really virtuous unless it’s a challenge, or it’s difficult, etc. But really, shouldn’t virtues, once formed, be as easy as riding a bicycle?
Just wonderin’ out loud…
JOB
Yes, indeed, if we’re supposing virtues to be habitual excellences of character. The old line we heard in ethics was, “Don’t confuse merit with virtue.”