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Mandatory Holiday Fun

Gafurino - Theorica Musicae

Gafurino - Theorica Musicae

Due to budgetary constraints, this year’s office party will be conducted in virtual form. Please submit the following via the comments:

Favorite Sacred Christmas Carol
Favorite Pagan Devil Secular Christmas Carol
Beverage of choice
A hot dish to share with everyone (RESIST THE URGE TO INNUENDO)
What you’ll be giving your Secret Santa


  1. Southern Expat says:

    In the Bleak Midwinter
    I’ve Got My Love to Keep Me Warm
    Special Hot Chocolate (enhanced with Bailey’s and/or peppermint schnapps)
    Shrimp and Grits
    I always forget about Secret Santa, so I will regift whatever my Secret Santa gives me

  2. Jonathan Potter says:

    Favorite Sacred Christmas Carol
    Hot Buttered Rum

    Favorite Pagan Devil Secular Christmas Carol
    Hot Buttered Rum

    Beverage of choice
    Hot Buttered Rum

    A hot dish to share with everyone (RESIST THE URGE TO INNUENDO)
    Hot Buttered Rum

    What you’ll be giving your Secret Santa
    Hot Buttered Rum

    • Matthew Lickona says:

      I just had hot buttered rum for the first time a couple of nights ago. It was hard to forget the fact that I was drinking butter. Also, I burned my tongue.

      • Jonathan Potter says:

        The drinking butter aspect is exactly what I like about it. Sorry about the burnt tongue, though. On the upside, you now have the gift of speaking in burnt tongues. It’s an apocalyptic thing.

    • Jonathan Potter says:

      The hot buttered rum overwhelmed my thought process. I’ll try again.

      What Child is This
      Baby It’s Cold Outside (new date rape thread?)
      Hot Buttered Rum
      Apfel Kuchen (my mom’s special recipe)
      Tullamore Dew

  3. Coventry Carol

    Snow by Loreena McKennitt & Archibald Lampman

    Homemade Cherry Bounce!

    My Wife the Energizer Bunny’s Christmas Pudding made from her Scottish Grandmother’s Recipe. Charles Dickens never had it so good.

    A kiss.

  4. Matthew Lickona says:

    You know, there are answers, and there are the answers you provide the Korrektiv Kollektiv:

    God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen, for obvious reasons

    Fairytale of New York, for obvious reasons

    Champagne, for celebratory reasons

    Three cheese lasagna from Assenti’s Pasta, for traditional reasons

    Bourbon, for entirely selfish reasons

  5. I don’t celebrate Christmas.

  6. Oh come oh come Emmanuel ( I know I know not officially a Christmas carol but I can’t help it it makes me cry). Also, What Child is This

    Santa Baby by Eartha Kitt…..nuf said

    Baileys and also champagne ( okay so it’s hard to pick a favorite drink sue me )

    My husbands homemade bread when still warm with various cheeses

    None of your business.

  7. This is good. I was worried I wasn’t getting invited to any Christmas parties this year. I’ll be back…

  8. Southern Expat says:

    I’m starting to think that “Secret Santa” has a different connotation from what I’m used to.

  9. Cubeland Mystic says:


    Tied for the profane

    Rich Winter Ales with fellow mystics
    Calvados with Mrs. Mystic

    Hot dish

    I am freeing minds and giving out red pills to whomever I can as fast I can. Santa wears red for a reason. He who has ears let him hear.

  10. Favorite Sacred Christmas Carol: Wexford Carol

    Favorite Pagan Devil Secular Christmas Carol: Not a favorite, but definitely it’s the Wham! one that most stands out to me: “Last Christmas I gave you my heart. The very next day, you gave it away. This year… blah blah blah…I’ll give it to someone special. …”

    It’s that “special’ on the end there that gets me.

    Beverage of choice: NOG!

    A hot dish to share with everyone (RESIST THE URGE TO INNUENDO): I really was just thinking the other day that I need a signature dish. On the whole, people don’t request my cooking. But if I were a dish, I think I’d be a cold dish, like aspic.

    What you’ll be giving your Secret Santa: Choice cuts from my frozen hog (not innuendo).

  11. Favorite Sacred Christmas Carol: O Holy Night
    Favorite Pagan Devil Secular Christmas Carol: White Christmas
    Beverage of choice: Hot Buttered Rum, no doubt
    A hot dish to share with everyone: my famous artichoke dip (one of those Midwestern recipes, the secret to which is always an insane amount of mayonnaise, cream cheese, or both)
    What you’ll be giving your Secret Santa: besides a heart attack (from the dip), definitely Emmet Otter’s Jug Band Christmas

  12. Favorite Sacred Christmas Carol: “Lo How a Rose E’re Blooming” (preferably in German, though I don’t understand a word of it), with Sufjan Stevens’s “Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing” ( a close second, only because it’s not really a Christmas Carol, even if he includes it in his CD as one.

    Favorite Pagan Devil Secular Christmas Carol: I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas (I will add Dominic the Donkey as the Pagan Devil Secular Christmas Carol I most love to hate)

    Beverage of choice: Hot Cider

    A hot dish to share with everyone (RESIST THE URGE TO INNUENDO): Buñuelos (

    What you’ll be giving your Secret Santa: I’m Colombian. I don’t acknowledge no Santa.

    • Cubeland Mystic says:

      We ate these growing up “frittelle” I saw it on the buneulos link.

    • Matthew Lickona says:

      Dude, buneulos are standard Mexican dessert out here.

      • Well, in Colombia we don’t really have them for dessert. See Wikipedia:

        In Colombia they are not sweet and are made with a small curd white cheese and formed into doughy balls then fried golden brown. It is a traditional Christmas dish, served along with natillas and “manjar blanco”.

        I think maybe I’ll try my hand at making my own this Christmas, though deep-frying scares the heck out of me. I do make a pretty solid version of my great-grandma’s natilla, so I can bring that too.

  13. Angelico Nguyen, Esq., OP says:

    Favorite Sacred Christmas Carol
    ‘Let All Mortal Flesh Keep Silence’

    Favorite Pagan Devil Secular Christmas Carol
    (If pop songs count)
    ‘Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)’ – Darlene Love x Phil Spector
    (If pop songs don’t count)
    ‘Carol of the Bells’

    Beverage of choice
    Eggnog. Un-spiked is fine, if I have to serve as designated driver.

    A hot dish to share with everyone
    Ratatouille with rosemary

    What you’ll be giving your Secret Santa
    (If my ‘Secret Santa’ can take it)
    Alphonse, Issues One and Two
    (If my ‘Secret Santa’ is of more delicate sensibility)
    The Human Wisdom of Saint Thomas, by Josef Pieper

    • Angelico Nguyen, Esq., OP says:

      Wow, someone with authority took the time (and the pity) to correct my sloppy HTML for the Saint Thomas link. Fulton Sheen’s chalkboard angel?

      Whoever you are, thank you!

      It’s always been a dream of mine to have my own fixer.

  14. You’re giving the impression: (a) that others might be reading – I’ll remove this from my facebook page if I can, but I haven’t managed to remove a facebook ‘like’ so far, and the fact that you’re suggesting it means that no-one else is likely to be reading anyway; (b) that I am writing the other posts, or perhaps only the more vulgar ones, which is meant to scare me into thinking others are reading; (c) that others, geographically closer, might be writing some of the posts – I don’t think that’s true either.

    Although, I admit I’ve started to write like I have a slightly wider audience.

  15. Favorite Sacred Christmas Carol: I don’t like Christmas Carols in general. I prefer Gregorian Chant. (syllogism: I’m Irish. I attend a predominantly Irish parish. Therefore, I don’t sing at Mass.) But if I had to pick one, it would be Adeste Fideles – in the original Latin.

    Favorite Pagan Devil Secular Christmas Carol: I tolerate sacred Christmas Carols. Pagan ones turn my stomach – and not because they’re pagan, but because they all seem to try so hard. But again, if I must: Frosty the Snowman, Gene Autry’s version only, thank you.

    Beverage of choice: Two or more than three Martinis made with Plymouth Gin, a dash of bitters, and extra glup of vermouth. Two olives. (The three will place you squarely in the ravaged dead zone of Morning After Gin Shakes (MAGS) – so at that point, why stop at three? If it’s going to go bust on you, make it a big bust…

    A hot dish to share with everyone (RESIST THE URGE TO INNUENDO)(Inuendo from the Greek – ῾ηνεύηνδειν – which means “to come to or approach things from the back side or rearward”) – My wife’s buttered scones and/or oyster stew.

    What you’ll be giving your Secret Santa: Sorry, my brother in law might, just might, be reading this.

    • I couldn’t find a version in Latin, but I did find Buble!

      • My daughter, eldest, recieved this fellow’s work as an early Christmas present. It sent me scurrying for my basement office where I busied myself transcribing hours of interview material, the overlarge earphones serving well to block out all vestiges of artificial Christmas joy.


        • Cubeland Mystic says:

          Please explain your reaction in detail. Seriously I would like to understand this insight.

          I have similar reactions to certain tunes, but not all.

  16. Favorite Sacred Christmas Carol: Hark the Herald Angels Sing
    Favorite Pagan Devil Secular Christmas Carol: Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire….
    Beverage of choice: Diet Coke (sorry)
    A hot dish to share with everyone (RESIST THE URGE TO INNUENDO): lutefisk
    What you’ll be giving your Secret Santa: warm wishes and a wish for better luck next time in the office secret santa draw

    Happy advent all!

  17. You saw this coming. You planned it.

  18. Christmas eve: O Holy Night
    Christmas day: O Come All Ye Faithful
    Boxing day: Good King Wenceslaus

    Feliz Navidad

    Slightly chilled beaujolais noveau

    Baked brie with cranberries

    A lump of coal. It was a bad year at the office.

  19. As part of my overall scheme for social domination, I’m fashionably late to the party.

    Favorite Sacred Christmas Carol: Angels We Have Heard On High
    Favorite Pagan Devil Secular Christmas Carol: Michael Buble’s new version of Mariah Carey’s All I Want For Christmas Is You. SHUT UP.
    Beverage of choice: Hot Spiced Cider
    A hot dish to share with everyone (RESIST THE URGE TO INNUENDO): Tamales, baby!
    What you’ll be giving your Secret Santa: Something I grabbed last minute from the clutter of my house, because I always forget about these things until it’s almost too late. That’s why I’m always out shopping on Dec. 24, and wondering why all these other people are getting in my way.

    Merry Christmas to the Kollectiv!

    • Matthew Lickona says:

      And to you and yours, Mrs. D. I confess I felt a certain, not entirely unpleasant twinge when Buble crooned, “I won’t even wish for snow.”

  20. Quin Finnegan says:

    Favorite Sacred Christmas Carol:
    “Joy to the World,” which I’ve just learned likely comes to us from Handel’s Messiah, specifically, Comfort Ye, My People.” Although the tempo is much too slow, here is the great Swedish tenor Nicolai Gedda with the even greater conductor Otto Klemperer:

    Favorite Pagan Devil Secular Christmas Carol: Really? Yeesh … to play along, I choose “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas,” written by the great Hugh Martin, who died just this last spring at the age of 91. Originally written for the film “Meet Me In St. Louis”, the 21 year old Miss Garland refused to sing the song as written, saying it was too dark. Eventually Martin came around and altered the lyrics. For example, these original lines do seem a bit bleak:

    Have yourself a merry little Christmas, it may be your last,
    Next year we may all be living in the past …

    The revised version goes like this:

    Have yourself a merry little Christmas, let your heart be light,
    Next year all our troubles will be out of sight

    Still a little bittersweet, but in the right measure. Or at least that’s my take.

    Here’s the version in Meet Me in St. Louis:

    Of course it’s been covered many times since, including a fine version by Chrissie Hynde and The Pretenders:

    Chrissie Hynde is, of course, better known for writing the theme song for Rush Limbaugh’s show, but she wrote a pretty decent Christmas song herself called 2000 Miles:

    How am I doing for “Pagan Devil Secular”?

    Beverage of choice: I’m drinking an Alaskan Winter Ale right now, so I’ll go with that.

    A hot dish to share with everyone: Pekin Duck
    1 Duck
    2 cups boiling-hot water
    1 tablespoon kosher salt
    1 teaspoon black pepper

    What you’ll be giving your Secret Santa: Silly Putty

  21. Southern Expat says:


    I feel like he’s circling the parking lot, sighing, trying to decide if he needs to at least make an appearance.

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