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“The softened eyes affixed, half-skeptical…”

The Argument

This third to be introduced will play his part
For good or ill – or thirst. Oh, but it pains
This solitary, stalemated at heart,
To hit his marks, and understand his lines!

Comments

  1. Churchill says:

    Very cleverly written, and perhaps full of meaning I didn’t understand; a nice ending.

    I must say nobody’s praised anything I’ve written in the last few decades, and I’m feeling quite low in confidence.

    • Churchill,

      Thanks for the vote. Again, I’ll ask that you “play along” until the thing is done. There’s a number of chapters to go.

      But of course you may express your opinions any time about my verse. I think you’ve become a sort of ideal reader for me – if not for the rest of us here.

      As for your own writing – I’m sure it’s as superb as your “kommentary” here at Korretiv suggests.

      JOB

  2. Jonathan Potter says:

    Wow, JOB. Holy shit. This could be your magnum opus, methinks.

  3. Jonathan Webb says:

    That was great, just great. Well, well, well, well, well.

    Thanks JOB.

  4. Quin Finnegan says:

    Nice; i especially liked the “beer can’s hatching crack” — it’s a familiar sound, I guess. The last two stanzas are great!

    • Quin,

      Yes, a wonderfully familiar sound.

      I think it was accidental genius – as I may have been sitting down with a beer right before I wrote that line.

      Thanks for reading!

      JOB

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