“The softened eyes affixed, half-skeptical…”

The Argument

This third to be introduced will play his part
For good or ill – or thirst. Oh, but it pains
This solitary, stalemated at heart,
To hit his marks, and understand his lines!


  1. Very cleverly written, and perhaps full of meaning I didn’t understand; a nice ending.

    I must say nobody’s praised anything I’ve written in the last few decades, and I’m feeling quite low in confidence.

    • Churchill,

      Thanks for the vote. Again, I’ll ask that you “play along” until the thing is done. There’s a number of chapters to go.

      But of course you may express your opinions any time about my verse. I think you’ve become a sort of ideal reader for me – if not for the rest of us here.

      As for your own writing – I’m sure it’s as superb as your “kommentary” here at Korretiv suggests.


  2. Jonathan Potter says

    Wow, JOB. Holy shit. This could be your magnum opus, methinks.

  3. Jonathan Webb says

    That was great, just great. Well, well, well, well, well.

    Thanks JOB.

  4. Quin Finnegan says

    Nice; i especially liked the “beer can’s hatching crack” — it’s a familiar sound, I guess. The last two stanzas are great!

    • Quin,

      Yes, a wonderfully familiar sound.

      I think it was accidental genius – as I may have been sitting down with a beer right before I wrote that line.

      Thanks for reading!


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