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Mandrake

Korrektiv may be an NC-17 blog, but we’re never crude for the sake of crudity. (Or at least, this is what we tell ourselves. Okay, what I tell myself.) We’re crude because we’re trying to get at something, and the crudity seems an appropriate way to do that. So when we note that Lady Gaga told Vanity Fair that she “I have this weird thing that if I sleep with someone they’re going to take my creativity from me through my vagina,” we don’t do it simply for the sake of reprinting this classic exchange from Dr. Strangelove:

General Jack D. Ripper: You know when fluoridation first began?

Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: I… no, no. I don’t, Jack.

General Jack D. Ripper: Nineteen hundred and forty-six. Nineteen forty-six, Mandrake. How does that coincide with your post-war Commie conspiracy, huh? It’s incredibly obvious, isn’t it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That’s the way your hard-core Commie works.

Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Uh, Jack, Jack, listen, tell me, tell me, Jack. When did you first… become… well, develop this theory?

General Jack D. Ripper: Well, I, uh… I… I… first became aware of it, Mandrake, during the physical act of love.

Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Hmm.

General Jack D. Ripper: Yes, a uh, a profound sense of fatigue… a feeling of emptiness followed. Luckily I… I was able to interpret these feelings correctly. Loss of essence.

Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Hmm.

General Jack D. Ripper: I can assure you it has not recurred, Mandrake. Women uh… women sense my power and they seek the life essence. I, uh… I do not avoid women, Mandrake.

Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: No.

General Jack D. Ripper: But I… I do deny them my essence.

No, we mention Ms. Gaga’s theory on creativity and sex because it ties in with our whole Walker Percy thing, which is one step shy of the raison d’etre for this here blogthing. Specifically, it ties in with “Questions They Never Asked Me,” the epilogue to Percy’s essay collection Signposts in a Strange Land:

What’s this about a sexual component?
I’d rather not say.

Why not?
Because no end of dreary bullshit has been written on the subject, so much as to befoul the waters for good. Starting with Freud’s rather stupid hydraulic model of art as the sublimation of libidinal energies: libido suppressed in the boiler room squirts up in the attic. There followed half a century of dull jokes about x orgasms equals y novels down the drain…At least Freud had the good sense to know when to shut up, as he did in Dostoevsky’s case. But stupider still is the more recent Hemingway machismo number. The formula is: Big pencil equals big penis…If I were a woman, I wouldn’t stand for such crap…

And in this case Muhammad Ali is smarter than either Freud or Hemingway. Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. Ali’s exaltation and cunning and beauty and malice apply even more to writing than to fighting. Freud made a mistake only a twentieth-century professor would have been capable of: trying to explain the human psyche by a mechanical-energy model. Take away 450 psychic calories for love and that leaves you 450 short for art. Actually, it’s the other way around. The truth is paradoxical, and can’t be understood in terms of biological systems…

Comments

  1. Matthew,

    Clearly, given your mentioning Percy's line about the "450 psychic calories for love," you were inspired to post because like the rest of the US you are mesmerized by the eloquence and jolly-yet-sober demeanor of the Current Governor of NJ.

    And yes, as a matter of fact, I am obsessed.

    You see, at this moment, all of my own precios psychic calories of love are squirting around in my soul, shooting up to into my brain, stimulating my thalamus to focus at a deep spiritual/cthonic level on the lovable, diffusely adhering jowels and beady and incisive, if somewhat porcine, eyes of this piece of man, this masterpiece of flesh and soul, this veritable avatar He Himself: William Howard Taft….

    JOB

  2. Matthew Lickona says

    Clearly.

  3. Jonathan Webb says

    Hayden, like Christie, is totally awesome. Saw "The Killing" again on Sunday. Great film. Hayden can be a fast talker, something you don't associate with big men.

    Recommended.

    Incidentally, I saw "Cruel Gun Story" last night. Totally marvelous film. Similar plot to "The Killing", but more of a revenge story. If anyone is interested, The Criterion Collection #17 has some great Japanese noir.

  4. The Ironic Catholic says

    Goodness gracious, I'm getting the vapors.

    Maybe your favorite devotions include the act of contrition.

  5. Matthew Lickona says

    IC,
    A thousand pardons. I'm really not out to shock or offend.
    I view contrition and confession the way my Irish forbears viewed voting: early and often.

  6. The Ironic Catholic says

    Ha!

  7. Quin Finnegan says

    RE The Gagina: Well, there's always sodomy. That dude the baroness took apart recomends it, doesn't he?

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