Me: Where’s my Tom’s of Maine lavender deodorant?

The Wife: Oh, just use that other stuff I bought.

Me: Speed Stick Alpine Force? Have you smelled this stuff?

The Wife: It’s a very masculine scent. I think you can pull it off.

Me: Thanks a lot.


Third Son, a few minutes later: Dad, you smell weird.


  1. cubeland mystic says


    She held your manhood cheap.

  2. notrelatedtoted says

    Lack of aluminum leads to low testosterone.

    It's science.

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