Me: If I lose my job, I think I’ll go to art school.

The Wife: How about business school?


  1. cubeland mystic says

    I would agree with Mrs. L. She's speaking wisdom. The artist's tragic misunderstanding is that they should go to art school. Why? So they can be around other artists? So they can learn some new technique? That's like the addict going to an opium den. Art school is where artists and art go to die.

    If one wants to become an artist, I would suggest two schools. The first school is in every town and its free. It's called Home Depot. Get up about 4:30, wear some good boots jeans, t-shirt, and flannel long sleeve in case it is cold. Find a way there and stand on the sidewalk and try to get a job as a day laborer for a year. It will deepen the artistic experience.

    The second option is a bit different, go to MBA school. Here is where you learn how to become a professional bureaucrat. You take a room full of wanna-be-vampires and turn them into full fledged vampires. Your task while there is to see if there is a way to traverse the curriculum without losing your soul.

  2. Matthew Lickona says

    Well, I did want to learn to draw. I wasn't looking for community. But thank you for the terrifying visions.

  3. cubeland mystic says

    You're welcome. I was writing out of my prophetic office. Terrifying visions are part of the job.

  4. While you're working on terrifying visions, you could always drop Art School Confidential in the netflix queue.

    Of course, I'm not sure about business school either. I get MBA interns in every year, and while they may have great vampiric ambitions, they're pretty useless in most ways. High on theory, low on common sense and ability.

    Personally, I used to tell my wife that if I lost my job I'd join the army — at which it was pointed out to me that I would have some work cut out for me to pass the physical fitness requirements.

    Really, a man is low on desperate actions these days. Even going to Australia isn't what it once was.

  5. In this economy, I think you want to avoid law school. Maybe an MBA would help, but you should focus on restructuring.


  6. Matthew Lickona says

    By "restructuring," do you mean "selling everything and moving to a hovel in the woods"?

  7. Are you in danger of losing your job at the San Diego Reader?

    If so, I'll keep you in my prayers.

  8. Matthew Lickona says

    Oh, I'm sorry if I gave that impression. Print is ailing, but the Reader is hanging on. I just tend to expect the worst. Thanks for the prayers, though I'm sure others need them more!

  9. Matthew,

    I hate to drag poetry into this (it is, rather, the universal joint, though, isn't it?), but you could do worse than Dana Gioia (DelMonte)- or speaking of the Deevil – Wallace Stevens (Hartford Insurance), both of whom had gone in for the industrial steel-grey flannel suit over the Byron shirt and attitude of artistic lassitude.
    (T.S. Eliot had also become first a banker and then a top exec at Faber and Faber Printing – but I think he had his own thing going on so I wouldn't lean to heavily on him…). I think there are great examples of businesslike fiction writers too. But I can't think of them right now…


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