The Onion has always been the gold standard for porn commentary; your humble host is just a jester to the king on that one. Their latest is no exception, though I imagine any number of decent-minded people will not want to read it. The headline: ” Japan Pledges To Halt Production Of Weirdo Porn That Makes People Puke.” Proceed with caution.
UPDATE: So why post it at all? Because of a bit like this: “I’ve seen about a million of these films, and each one is worse than the next,” Portugal’s José Randulfo told reporters… “The doctors say it may take months before I remember what normal genitals look like, and even longer before I remember how they are intended to function.” Porn rubbing up against nature, anyone?
Matthew,
But no matter the subject, it’s lines like this that have us returning – at a full sprint no less – to the Onion again and again…
“a 23-part epic that has reportedly left thousands of viewers feeling repulsed, defiled, and forever doubtful about the inherent goodness of mankind.”
I think our generation should be considered the O (for Onion) Generation. We’re so damned ironic, its not even funny…
JOB
“I’m not talking about the right to free trade. I’m saying…eleven.”
“It’s not even funny.”
“We’re so damned ironic, its not even funny…”
It’s getting to the point where we’re so damned ironic, we’re not even ironic anymore.
Interesting read if you want to peel back the curtain:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/11/07/AR2008110701942.html
Matthew,
Thought you’d pick up on that…
And so:
Brief Pastiche Poem on Riffs(Invoked by Memory) by S(omeone). E(lse). Hinting
– not done for Johnny Cade
…time zones in the Soviet Union.
“It’s so ridiculous…”
Power power power power
“it’s not even funny.”
“So, you see these signs too, Dr. Black?”
“Why, sure, Mrs. Rectangular.”
“Well, I feel better already.
That’s how Sycamore opened.
That’s how….Sycamore is.
“I never really studied that up.”
I say this somewhat quietly
and without fanfare, because …
YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE.
AT THE RECOMMENDATION
OF THE INTERNATIONAL
TIME BUREAU,
COMMENCING AT TWENTY-THREE (23) HOURS,
FIFTY-NINE (59)
MINUTES,
SIXTY (60) SECONDS UTC,
AN EXTRA SECOND WILL BE INSERTED INTO THE NBS TIME SCALE.
THIS ADJUSTMENT IS REQUIRED TO
MAINTAIN INTERNATIONALLY
COORDINATED UNIVERSAL TIME AS
BROADCAST FROM THESE STATIONS,
IN CLOSE AGGREEMENT WITH UT1,
OR ASTRONOMICAL TIME.
“Oh, what does it mean?”
“Eh rectangular, black, and with wedge shapes inside.”
“Oh, I see them everywhere, everywhere …”
Sycamore …is open.
[Sound of gunshots]
“What you have been seeing everywhere you look
are those yellow and black signs
used to indicate
a fallout shelter in buildings.”
Because … people who like their living green and private
don’t usually appreciate a lot of
fluttering flags and cartwheeling clowns.
“You know what I’m saying?”
“Don’t you kid yourself.
Thanks, Glen, for the uh…
well, just thanks for
the, the good thoughts.”
Wham! (YEAH!)
That sound is more important
than you are.
That sound is more (YEAH!)
important
than your entire life.
THIS CONCLUDES OUR TRANSMISSION
TO OCEANIA.
HOWEVER, LISTENERS IN EAST ASIA
MAY CONTINUE LISTENING
ON THE FOLLOWING
SHORTWAVE FREQUENCIES:
6110, 7230, 9565, 9760, 15160, AND 15425
KILOHERTZ
(guns)
“There are eleven….
JOB
Matt/JOB, do you know how many times zones there are in the soviet union?
ML
ML:
“The Soviet Union’s the whole half side of the world.”
job
As far as your update comment, it’s true and you see that with men, in general, regarding the female form.
My sister nursing an infant, ENTIRELY shielded by a blanket, in a chair with her back turned —and I hate when people are too comfortable nursing in public, so I do concur that it was discreet —A friend and medical resident at our house leaves the room saying,
“Just knowing that you’re doing that is gross.”
Really? What are they for anyway?
Oh, right, for you to ogle and enjoy…
Please.