Archives for January 2009

Another sort of March for Life…

…or rather, a march of life…

First Daughter is wisely off somewhere with her mother.

From the YouTube Video Archives: The Best Bob Dylan Interview Ever

Say What?

“Even more than [Percy’s] ‘The Moviegoer,'” writes Haddox, “‘A Confederacy of Dunces’ reveals a world in which Catholicism has ceased to function as anything but a marker of lifestyle.”

The Pope on YouTube

Today in Porn, Science Edition

Today’s entry deals not so much with porn as with porn’s red-handed stepchild, masturbation. Doonesbury readers will recall, no doubt, the furor that erupted six years ago when its creator penned a strip referencing a study that claimed a link between masturbation and the prevention of prostate cancer. (The hubbub was, of course, about the mention of “self-dating” in the funny papers, not about the the study itself.)

BUT NOW, the Manhattan Lawyer points us to a recent entry from Gawker, referencing a study that claims pretty much exactly the opposite:

“Men who are very sexually active in their twenties and thirties are more likely to develop prostate cancer, especially if they masturbate frequently, according to a study of more than 800 men. However the UK research team also found that frequent sexual activity in a man’s forties appears to have little effect and even small levels of activity in a man’s fifties could offer protection from the disease. Most of the differences were attributed to masturbation rather than sexual intercourse.”

Well, science, which is it? And yes, we here at Godsbody are tickled at the thought of federal legislation demanding that all pornography feature a label warning that masturbation increases your risk of prostate cancer.

March for Life 2009

Hi, Mom and Dad!

Memento Mori

Third Son takes picture of his old man.

Second Daughter: You took a picture of Daddy?

Old man: Why would you do that?

Third Son: I know why! Because when you die…

[Photo found here.]

Danger Love

The last one has a broken elbow – hence the single-handed adventure.

Happy Feast of St. Francis de Sales!

The patron saint of writers! When I first bought my painting (below), I imagined it depicted St. Jerome. Now, I’m not so sure. The robes may be a touch fancy. St. Francis de Sales, on the other hand, was a bishop… At any rate, I need his help these days. Trying to finish a project.
[UPDATE: An esteemed Father has just kindly sent word that, given the attending angel and the saint’s attire, my painting is almost certainly of my namesake, St. Matthew the Evangelist. Quelle chance]!


My first version of this had a caption that was rather more caustic:

But in light of the following, I’m going with the kinder, gentler route:

Thanks to Manhattan Lawyer for the heads up.

Speaking of Dicks (Another Blow to Seattle-Spokane Relations)

Spokane has a Dick’s hamburger joint that looks and feels exactly like the various Dick’s in Seattle. The Spokane Dick’s may actually look and feel more like the Seattle Dick’s than the Seattle Dick’s do. So I was surprised when happening upon the Dick’s website yesterday to find no mention of Spokane’s Dick’s.

So I clicked on “feedback” and sent the following note:

Why no mention of the Spokane Dick’s here? Spokane feels slighted.

Soon a reply arrived in my inbox, stating in no uncertain terms:

Sorry but the Spokane dick’s is not now, nor has it ever been affiliated with the Seattle based Dick’s Drive-in restaurants.

Thanks for the enquiry
Dick’s Drive-in Restaurants

Stunned silence.

Today in Porn, Sundance Edition

The circle is now complete, or something. Twenty years ago, indie director Steven “I Just Want to Remake Ocean’s Eleven for Yuks” Soderbergh showed up at what would become the Sundance Film Festival with his seminal film sex, lies, and videotape. And it was kinda sorta porny – except not really! Because while James Spader’s character did get all steamed up watching home movies of various womenfolk, it wasn’t fleshy exposure he had on tape – it was personal. He got ’em to reveal their secrets, to open up and let him in while the camera was running – a whole ‘nother sort of recorded intimacy (sort of).

This year, Soderbergh showed up with a rough cut of The Girlfriend Experience, which is, again, kinda sorta porny – except not really. Vulture reports that the film, starring home-schooled* porn star Sasha Grey, plays “a high-end call girl who does all the little things that provide the titular experience.” So instead of sexless emo porn, we now get porny emo sex. Yay!

*That’s right! Who says that homeschooling retards socialization?


Bruce Springsteen and I and my wife and kids are sitting on the back patio on a warm summer evening. I’m a bit nervous and tired and possibly intoxicated. Bruce is relaxed and cordial, but doesn’t seem to be totally enjoying himself. I pick up my guitar and begin playing the chords to a song Potter wrote called The Circus Came to Town, but I start singing the words to a different song of his called The Gambler’s Ruin. After about the third line, I can’t remember what comes next. Bruce and my wife jump in and start singing their own made-up lyrics, which throws me off even more. I stop.

“Wait a minute!” I say. “Those aren’t the right words.”

I begin again and get a little bit further, but once again falter and can’t remember the words. I give up, stop playing and put the guitar on my lap. Bruce leans in and points out a set of tuning pins I’d never noticed before near the sound hole on the guitar. He reaches over and pushes the bridge over and suggests that it needs to be adjusted. This puts the guitar out of tune, so I tune it back up. I set the guitar down and stand up, as if to invite Bruce inside for a change of venue. We walk across the patio to the back door.

“Where’s Dean?” Bruce says, looking around absently.

“Moriarty?” I say.

“NPR just did that book,” Bruce says.

I open the door and we step inside.

I’m nobody! Who are you?
Are you nobody, too?
Then there ’s a pair of us–don’t tell!
They ’d banish us, you know.

How dreary to be somebody!
How public, like a frog
To tell your name the livelong day
To an admiring bog!

–Emily Dickinson

(Tip of the hat to Almostgotit)

File Under: Preparing Your Kids For The Future

Dude’s name is Minimum Wage.

Product description: “Minimum Wage gets the job done! See that apron? Told ya! Wage is hard working and super smarty, just like you. Hired, fired, never come back… Wage has heard it all, and doesn’t need to know what any of it means. Why? Hmm yeah. But Wage does know that come pay day, it’s time for cookies, snacks and plain ole chillin’ with Ice-Bat, his best buddy Babo…and you, the human!”

Neuhaus: Remembering MLK

Last night’s sky.

Today in Celebrity Juxtapositions: Who’s Crazier?

How have these two not been cast in a buddy picture?