Brutal.

The Wife, re: holiday weight gain: “Mr. Incredible got back in shape.”

Comments

  1. What? No photo of you in tights?

  2. cubeland mystic says

    November

    We superheros have to stick together. If you’ve become gravitationally challenged, I can help you in sensitive and a discreet way.

    The mystic diet

    breakfast

    half cup of cooked oat meal

    lunch

    small salad (6 oz) teaspoon of olive oil and vinegar.

    dinner

    1 cup of cooked lentils, teaspoon of olive oil salt to taste. six ounces of kefir, 1 apple. Add teaspoon of honey on feast days.

    For Lent skip breakfast and lunch. Supplement with grubs when you man-up to do some lawn engineering.

    This is the dietary regiment of spiritual giants. I am giving this secret to you as an epiphany gift. No booze either McCkona.

    The diet takes some getting used to. In the mean time to appease senior management, say that the increase is sympathetic weight gain.

  3. Matthew, CM,

    Or…there’s the 10-day brown rice diet.

    Brown rice
    Sea salt
    Black coffee
    (Nicotine – allowed)
    Water (no booze)

    For ten days – breakfast, dinner and supper – it cleans blood, bile, and bronchials.

    And you lose 10-20 lbs. guaranteed.

    And you know, as CM alluded to, Lent is around the corner…

    JOB

  4. Ah, yes, we know the starving Catholic artist’s diet well.

    Favorite “Incredible” line anyone?

    I love how the Mrs. starts the fight…. “Is this rubble?”

  5. Lindsay,

    My favorite – you have to listen close to hear it. The guards at Syndrome’s hideout are watching the robot unleash chaos, passing around the champagne in dixie cups, and one says,

    “OK, OK, every time a building falls, everyone has to take a drink!”

    Or something to that effect.

    Gets me every time.

    JOB

  6. JOB—

    Of course, I agree.

    and, not to be a Pixar geek, it’s “Everytime they run, we take a shot…” Which is more drinking…

  7. cubeland mystic says

    I love Edna Mode (sp?) too tired to look up spelling or exact quotes.

    “My God you’ve gotten fat!”
    “I used to design for Gods!”
    “It distracts from the now.”
    “I’ll patch the hobo suit.”

    Is it Brad Bird? He does the Edna voice.

    The pep talk ElastaGirl give Violet to defend herself.

    I love when Elasta Girl checks out her rear in the new suit. I love the Mr Incredible fat scenes. They have to stuff him into the tube.

    “Honey where’s my super suit?”
    “Greater good!? I am your wife! I’m the greatest good . . . “

    My favorite line of the whole film are the two geezers at the end.

    “That’s old school.”
    “There’s no school like the old school.”

    One of the things about the film I really enjoy is the news reel Elstagirl is gung ho feminist not leaving the world saving to the men, and Mr I. wants to settle down with a family. Then once they are undercover They switch Mr. I wants to return to hero work and Elastagirl wants him to focus on family.

    Apologies for the lack of scholarship and accuracy.

  8. Matthew Lickona says

    “Mom and Dad’s lives might be in danger. Or worse…their marriage.”

  9. Fear Not, Lickona. I’ve found the Endless Stair of Moria not far from both our houses. {Corner of Windsor and Canterbury} The power of the Stair will turn you into Mr. Incredible — at least Mr. Passable — in no time.

    The Endless Stair also taught me a lot of things about my kids. Some were excited and bounded right to the top. Others griped incessantly. Some of the gripers walked despite the griping. Others had to be threatened with the Balrog treatment to keep them moving. My 4-yr-old was angry almost to hysteria that everyone was beating him. My 1-yr-old slept through all of it, adding 25-pounds to the extra 20 I’m already carrying.

  10. That last post was from Mary’s less beautiful half, Ernesto

  11. Matthew Lickona says

    Good to hear it, Ernesto. You’re a brave man to haul your brood up that mountain.

  12. Dude, what’s with all this “no booze” stuff.

    Perhaps a liquid diet:

    One glass of brown ale for breakfast. Oatmeal and coffee on the side if necessary.

    One and a half pints of porter for lunch. If extra hungry: oatmeal or imperial stout.

    Two glasses of wine or one full bottle of Belgian double or triple for dinner.

    Scotch, bourbon or brandy before bed.

    I don’t know for sure if you could lose weight this way, but I’m sure that you could lose or misplace all sorts of other things, so there’s a decent chance the weight would get lost somewhere along the way too.

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