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Join My Team

Greetings my fellow Americans and blog-readers across the globe! My name is S.G. Chivo and I am pleased to announce that I have infiltrated the Korrektiv blog. I will be using Korrektiv over the coming weeks and months to spread my message of peace and prosperity and to launch my campaign for the 2008 U.S. presidential election as an Independent.

Let me assure you that I have no affiliation with Korrektiv nor with its esteemed writers. Let us just say I am privy to some of their dirty little secrets which I have agreed to refrain from disclosing in exchange for the use of the blog (and its vast readership) as my bully pulpit, so to speak.

My presidential campaign is all about patriotism and making everyone’s life better, funner, cleaner, healthier, and safer. My stand on the issues? Well, off the top of my head, I’m for: capital punishment, abortion on demand, the right to die and death with dignity, planned parenthood, sex education, the war in Iraq and, soon, in Iran, gun control, an enhanced Patriot Act, universal healthcare, universal condom distribution, universal cable TV (including HBO), gay pride, gay marriage, the relaxation of child pornography laws, surfboarding, snowboarding, waterboarding, labor camps for illegal immigrants, prayer in schools, and the abolishment of the IRS*. But more important than my stand on the issues is my willingness to go the extra mile for your health, happiness and prosperity.

Yes, I can!

Yes, I can!

Yes, I can make my dreams your reality!

*To be replaced by a new Department of Homeland Security sub-agency.

Comments

  1. Matthew Lickona says

    Don’t cross the Korrektiv, Scapegoat. F.X. Martin is a stone cold thug, and he will find you.

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