‘Twas the Night Before Christmas

‘Twas the Night Before Christmas
(or A Visit from Quin and Henri)

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and we were watching House —
That episode where he had a webcam pointed at a mouse.
Foreman and Chase were trying not to care
That to be fodder for put-downs was why they were there.

The patients were nestled in their hospital beds,
While House smacked a few of them upside their heads.
And Cuddy with her cleavage, and Cameron the sap,
Figured as foils for more of House’s crap,

When out in the street there arose such a clatter,
I paused the TiVo to see what was the matter.
Handing my wife the remote and my beer,
I got off the couch to see who was here.

The pizza guy fishtailing madly through the snow
Had collided with my neighbor’s 1993 Volvo,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But Quin and Henri bringing more beer.

With a twelve-pack in one hand and in the other a stick,
Henri made quite a strange but impressive St. Nick.
More rapid than a gutter, Quin guzzled one down,
And he whistled and said, “Let’s go out on the town”:

“Now Søren! Now Walker!
Now, René and Blaise!
On, Flannery! On, Fyodor!
Fie, Despair and Malaise!
To the top of the blog!
To the top of Korrektiv!
Now post away! Post away!
Post some invective!”

As comments that make other wild comments fly,
When they land in the combox like farkleberry pie,
So Quin and Henri began to jeer
At Lickona who showed up with even more beer.


  1. The Ironic Catholic says

    I laughed! I cried! I left wanting more!

  2. Incredible!

  3. Matthew Lickona says

    It’ll be a cold day in hell before I show up with beer, at least if I’m supposed to join in the drinking. Bourbon, yes. Wine, yes. Beer, no. Too manly for me, I’m afraid. So there’s something for the boys to jeer about. Fine work.

  4. Rufus McCain says

    … so Quin and Henri began to opine
    about Lickona who showed up with a bottle of wine.

  5. Rufus McCain says

    … so Quin and Henri began to get frisky
    when they spied Lickona coming with a bottle of whiskey.

  6. You have a gift. I doubt they’ll let you exchange it.

  7. Sorry, that could be taken wrong. It was very amusing.

  8. Rufus McCain says

    As was the comment. Thanks.

  9. The Ironic Catholic says

    Angelmeg–what are you saying??????


  10. Rufus McCain says

    I’m confused angelmeg. Are you dissing IC or me or both of us?? The House stanzas were written with you in mind.

  11. The Ironic Catholic says

    Hey! It’s Ok to diss ME?

    (I’m assuming Angelmeg isn’t taken with my conversion of Jingle Bell Rock into an advent hymn. So hard to please people, you know.)

  12. The Ironic Catholic says

    “You have a gift. I doubt they’ll let you exchange it.”

    BTW, I love that.

  13. I just re-read my comment, I meant to write that while I agreed with IC I didn’t think you guys should go into lyric writing any time soon.

    Although I really wasn’t too enamoured of the Jingle Bell Rock makeover on Ironic Catholic either.

    You will notice I stay away from anything that demands rhyme scheme on my blog, One charism I just don’t claim.

  14. By the way, is it just me or does it take everybody else two tries to get through the word verification thingy on this stupid comment site?

    It always takes me two tries no matter how carefully I put in the letters the first time around.

  15. The Ironic Catholic says

    By the way, guys–you’ve been tagged.

    Oh Angelmeg, great artists are always misunderstood in their time.

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