Archives for November 2006

Nothing New Under the Sun

So last night we rented this ensemble drama from the director of Lost and Alias, starring indie actors from Magnolia, Capote, Pulp Fiction, Charlotte Gray, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Match Point, Shaun of the Dead, Othello, and TV’s Felicity.

You have to pass the magazine rack to get to the checkout at the local Blockbuster, and God help us, we couldn’t help but notice the following on the cover of Cosmo:

8 New Positions We’ve Never Recommended Before!

Never before? They must involve bungee harnesses and accordions…


Some children might simply eat the chocolate truffle right after it was handed to them out of the fridge. But First Son knows that if he delays his gratification and heats the thing in the microwave for twenty seconds, it’s just that much better. Nobody told him this.

Happy Birthday Quin Finnegan

Okay, enough with the giving of thanks…

…let’s get back to the naked envy and bitterness:

$4 mi for the Angels and Demons screenplay?

As Defamer puts it: “If this deal is going to set a new market for screenwriter salaries, we sincerely hope that Charlie Kaufman’s agent is on the phone right now, letting everyone in town know that if ‘that hack Goldsman is getting four mil a script to cut-and-paste sh***y Dan Brown dialogue into Final Draft, my guy isn’t getting out of bed for less than five.'”

(Link contains salty, nakedly envious language.)

Today in Contraception

Yes, yes, Yesterday’s News Today:

Profile of a spermicidal maniac:

“This way, the man can still have sex with the woman and still can ejaculate, it’s just that the ejaculate has no sperm,” said Dr. Cheng, explaining how his discovery, if realized, would work (the results of his study were published in the prestigious Nature Medicine journal). “But you don’t need sperm, because that is not part of the joy in there, so that men should not get upset and the women should not get upset.”

Webb’s Thanksgiving turkey recipe



God in the Streets of New York City

I think this is good.

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody.

Local Whine

Well, now – it seems I’ve received a visit from one of the bloggers over at The Contra-Crunchy Conservative, a blog which recently saw a dustup over this post on Beaujolais Nouveau. As it happens, comments regular Cubeland Mystic also posted about Beaujolais, and included this bit of advice:

“The reason for this post was due to my post about the bogus Beaujolais Nouveau tradition that everyone gets excited about once a year. Last time I had the Beaujolais Nouveau I thought the bottle was prettier than the wine. It was pretty sour as I recall, well worth passing up. For nine dollars why not have a couple of really great beers instead of a bad red wine? If you must have wine with your Thanksgiving dinner blow-off the Duboeuf, and invest your money in Three Thieves. Even better if you live in a wine growing region like California, New York, Washington, Oregon, Virginia, North Carolina, or Texas buy a local wine and really show your support for the local economy.”

You know, I often say “go local” when people ask for wine-buying advice, but I mean something quite different. I mean, ask your local retailer, at a shop that is small enough for him to know something about the wines he’s got on his shelves. (And no, you don’t have to be in a major urban center for this. JOB once took me to a fantabulous wine shop in LaCrosse, Wisconsin. Sadly, it’s gone now, but only because the owner retired – not because there wasn’t a market.) Case in point: last night I drank a 1996 Chateau Lanessan, a Bordeaux from the Haut-Medoc. Now, Lanessan is not a famous producer – I’d certainly never heard of them – but ’96 was a stellar year in Bordeaux. And the price? $18.95. To pay so little for a Bordeaux from a great year with ten years of bottle age on it? My alarms were going off: surely some distributor had this sitting in an overheated warehouse, and just needed to dump it? Surely it was cooked, tired, and not very good to begin with?

Happily, it was being sold in my local wine shop, and I could ask the proprietor about it. He assured me that it came straight from the chateau – had been stored under optimal conditions in the winery’s cellar until now. He also assured me that he had tasted the wine, and that it was really everything you might hope for in a bargain-Bordeaux from a great year. And he was right. (Though, sadly, the wine adhered to Murphy’s first law of good wine: it always opens up and starts tasting its best right around the time you’re down to your last three sips.) As usual, I was happy I bought small and bought local – but here, “small” and “local” referred to the shop, not the producer. Still, I was supporting the local economy – the local distributor, the local retailer.


The Wife, lying abed:

“I’m not moving. Fix the covers. Write a screenplay. Get me money.”

“Yes, dear.”

"Look what the homosexuals have done to me."

This is a public service announcement from Godsbody: from some reason, you can go here and watch the pilot for Arrested Development, one of the tightest, sharpest pieces of television comedy I have ever seen, online.

Beer Joke of the Month

Bleeding heart conservatives.

Not such as men are today

What’s that? Find a stand of spruce, fell my own logs, build a cabin, build furniture, mortar up a fireplace, hunt and grow my own food, and survive in the Alaskan wilderness without electricity or gas for 30 years? No problem!

It’s well worth seeing, if you’ve got the inclination…Here’s a sample.

Riots in Ritzville Mark Korrektiv’s 2nd Blogiversary

AP — Ritzville, WA, Nov 19, 2006.


Jack Shafer looks at the NYT, writes about how “the bus-plunge story rarely stops at West 43rd Street anymore.”

Top story at the site right now: “Two high school students were killed and more than two dozen were seriously injured in Huntsville, Ala., when the school bus they were riding in went off an elevated highway and plunged 30 feet to a street below.”

Dept. of Technological Blessings

The Wife’s been having a bit of back trouble of late – something to do with a crippling workload – and the guy at the back store sold her these wonderful gel packs – one for heat and one for cold. Unlike OLD gel packs, these gel packs are super-thin and wonderfully supple. Why, you could wear one under your clothes and no one would notice!

Which got me to thinking…

Sooner or later, it dawns on every NFP-lovin’ Catholic Guy that he can’t simply head into the bathroom when his wife’s fertility starts rearing its terrifying head, turn on the cold shower, and stay there for the next ten days to two weeks. What to do? Well, thanks to recent advances in gel-pack technology, now, he can simply slip on a pair of nicely refrigerated briefs to help him keep his cool.

Now, all I need is a name for my miracle product. A little help here? Go nuts in the comments box!

From the Video Music Archives

U2 apparently made two versions of Stuck in a Moment, and having just watched them both back-to-back I can say in all honesty that they’re both great. The first version has some great scenes of Bono singing the song, and all the while he seems to be the one who is stuck, getting walked all over, and as far as I can tell, in need of that ambulance shown rushing through the gate several times. The second version has a great intro by John Madden, after which footage of a place kicker missing a field goal is shown over and over again on an instant replay loop. Bono is shown standing up and singing in the crowd. If I were trying to be intellectually engaging about the serious topic of midrashing music videos, I’d suggest that our technologically automated age, with all its recordings, instant replays and virtual realities, almost insures that even the best minds will become ‘stuck in a moment’. And that U2 or whoever came up with this second video does a great job of showing this. Anyway, of the two versions, I think the second version makes more sense. What does Jon Webb think?

I’m not afraid/Of anything in this world/There’s nothing you can throw at me/That I haven’t already heard/I’m just trynna’ find/A decent melody/A song that I can sing/In my own company/I never thought you were a fool/But darling, look at you. Ooh./You gotta stand up straight, carry your own weight/’Cause tears are going nowhere baby/You’ve got to get yourself together/You’ve got stuck in a moment/And now you can’t get out of it/Don’t say that later will be better/Now you’re stuck in a moment/And you can’t get out of it/I will not forsake/The colors that you bring/The nights you filled with fireworks/They just left you with nothing/I am still enchanted/By the light you brought to me/I listen through your ears/Through your eyes I can see/You are such a fool/To worry like you do.. Oh/I know it’s tough/And you can never get enough/Of what you don’t really need now/My, oh my

One thing’s for sure: that Bono is one handsome man. I think it’s fair to say that at one time or another, most men have wanted to be Bono, but it’s not good to be stuck in that moment, either.