So, you wanna be a rich children’s author?

You need a series. And your series needs a hook. And here’s your hook, you homeschooling moms: a family of ten children, all homeschooled by their brilliant inventor father whose lab is in the basement and their brilliant creative-type mother (a mashup of Martha Stewart, Emily Dickinson, June Cleaver, and Dorothy Parker). Ten kids, ten books, each focusing on a different child. They are all, of course, impossibly literate and sophisticated (though still very much children), and each with a particular talent/gift. You’ll make a fortune. I’d do it myself, but…I suck.


  1. Cubeland Mystic says

    Is the Mom hot?

  2. Dorian Speed says

    I’m assuming this is a different family from the adulterous seminarian-tempting Eucharistic adoration lady.

  3. Matthew Lickona says

    Of course. Different readership, different family. But I’ll leave the question of whether Mom is hot or not up to the author.

  4. AnotherCoward says

    Wait … you suck? But you have something published! That makes me the stuff that guys-who-suck suck on (lets keep this in context folks: this is NOT a today in porn post). … how depressing.

  5. Why a basement inventor, you don’t have a basement! Now a “closet” inventor fits all of us!!!

  6. Matthew Lickona says

    I don’t have ten kids, either. This ain’t about me.

  7. Cubeland Mystic says

    How about dad works from home and has a home office in the basement? (Try to shift the thinking from dad leaves for the “factory” and does not see his kids for 12 hours a day)

    Mom could be a scientist.

  8. Notrelatedtoted says

    I see how this works….you bait someone to write this series, build it up and then sue them for royalties. Nice.

    Seriously, though…there’s a huge market for children’s literature. Consider the Magic Treehouse books. That gal discovered the money tree…those books practically write themselves.

    Not-Ted: Patron of the arts so long as I can figure out a way to make money off of it.

  9. Matthew Lickona says

    Oooh, aren’t you the clever one?
    Who knows – I may try to do this one myself.
    Yes, yes, Dad works in the basement, inventing. The family is always about to run out of money, and he comes up with something that keeps them hanging on a little longer. And now and then, his inventions solve family crises….

  10. Cubeland Mystic says

    I have an idea. Going to Mass now.

  11. Or, it could be a children’s horror type of series where the dad does a different experiment on each of the kids down in the basement while the mom is at Adoration. Kind of a mix between those Lemony Snicket books, “Cheaper by the Dozen”, and “Honey I Shrunk the Kids”.

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