Worst. Halloween. Ever.

Maybe five houses with carved pumpkins. Only a few more with ersatz ceramic jobs. Maybe a dozen other trick-or-treaters. “It’s because of the day of the week,” suggested one candy-giver. Day of the week? It’s Halloween! Are kids so sugar-sated that the chance to score free candy off of strangers isn’t enough to make them finish their homework early and skip Must See Monday television? And because of the shortage of trick-or-treaters, the poor candy-givers were doling it out by the handful. We knocked off well before completing our usual circuit, and still netted nearly twice our standard haul for the four children. We filled both of the biggest bowls in the house. More goods with less spirit. Sounds sadly familiar.


  1. java-queen says

    That’s nothing – what about when there are no Feast Days celebrated (like the Assumption) because it falls on a Monday. BUT the local Catholic school is bustling because the next day is the first day of school. Needless to say I was disgusted. It’s off to our regular parish 40 miles away instead for feast days. Oh, and I don’t buy those excuses that it’s too hard to find one hour or so six times a year (feast days) to honor God or Jesus or Mary any other day of the week but Sunday.

    FWIW – Some people choose not to celebrate Halloween too – we used to do that. But I did find an article on how to celebrate Halloween Catholic style so I relented this year (also because we moved). We had a lot of kids at our place and our kids didn’t even finish the whole street and still had a lot of loot.

    Happy Feast of All Saints!

  2. AnotherCoward says

    Worst. Halloween. Ever. Indeed…

    The wife, in her hurry to bustle our littlest one out of the minivan and into the Church for the night’s parish children’s event, yanked the car door open onto her head and split her forhead open.

    I think that summarily defines this halloween as our bloodiest ever.

    And then we spent 4 hours in the emergency room for 6 stitches, and that’s certainly when it became the worst ever.

    …and I’m not sure which was chillier last night: the night air or the look I got when I said we should paint her face green to go with the stitches.

    Oh and another thing: when the wife calls you at work to relate her head trauma, don’t laugh – even if it is kinda funny trying to visualize how one opens a car door on their head.

  3. Matthew Lickona says

    You win.

  4. AnotherCoward says


    so that means I got a signed copy of the new book. awesome for me!

  5. What’s going on in our neighborhoods? We had no one come to the door. No, I wasn’t a sex offender required not to answer the door. Now there is a strange requirement. You’ve done your time, Society has said go out and be a member of the World. But we are going to be watching you, putting your name and address out for all to see, tell you you can’t answer the door at Halloween… Oh, and by the way, good luck in the World! Try your best to be “normal and cured” and get a job.

    Where are we failing in this Journey!

    Anon 1K

  6. Elisa Brent says

    Best Halloween ever!!! For our kids that is. We had a funeral parlor in our entryway along with oodles of spookables elsewhere. Our son says Halloween is his favorite holiday. We went all out and next year should be even better. By the end of the night we were overflowing with candy and other collectibles. The kids went around the neighborhood twice doubling up on the fun. At the end of the night there was even a chauferred ride up a very steep hill. Our princess was a screaming goblin after gobbling down lots of sweets and Yoda was sound asleep before everyone left.

    Typically our neighborhoood is dark and lonely but this year we had more munchkins out than ever. One boy in our bunch even thought his costume held magical powers and he decided to see if Superman could really fly by diving head first off of a five foot wall… twice. The second time was probably to confirm that the suit did not work after all… not to mention he left his cape at home.

    Next year you are more than welcome to treat yourself to the fun in our neighborhood.

  7. In Texas, we lock the sex offenders up for the night….seriously.

    We had a great night down here, lots of goblins, little and big. Ran out of candy at 8:30 pm….put the sugar-highed kids to bed…and raided their loot.


  8. Notrelatedtoted says

    We ran into the Muslim family from down the street. Mom was dutifully taking their two little ones despite the Ramadan fast….at one point she blurted out, “This is really hard…” Kinda funny, but can you imagine? Trick or Treating on Ash Wednesday? I’d make it about three houses before I be imposing the “candy tax” on my kids.

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