Korrektiv Religion Beat
October 14, 2005
Citing the pervasive lack of an enlivening sense of the power of the sacraments and the grandeur of the magisterial teachings of the Church, sources close to the Vatican say a dictum is soon to be released which will require all U.S. Catholic clergy to be investigated by a special Vatican inquisitorial team. The team, a sub-unit of the SWAT Team currently deployed to U.S. seminaries, has been directed by Pope Benedict to relieve “turnipy” priests, monsignors and bishops of their sacramental and administrative duties and send them to a six-week boot camp designed to help them recover their spiritual bearings. The unpublished report refers to a “malaise-infested, slide into mediocrity and ‘turnipism’ that was an unfortunate sequel, especially among parishes in the United States, to Vatican II liturgical reforms.”
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