Doc Webb on Your Health

October 18, 2005 by Rufus McCain at 1:34 am

A new feature debuts on Korrektiv this week. Post your health questions in the comments area and Doc Webb will answer them when he has time in between changing diapers and such.

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5 Comments Filed Under: Earth

Comments

Andy Shoemaker says

October 17, 2005 at 5:40 am

Dear Doc Webb,

I have a bad ingrown tonail. Can you suggest any good naturopathic remedies?

TIA,
Andy

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Anonymous says

October 17, 2005 at 5:45 am

Dear Doc Webb,

I suffer from large bowel complaints and night terrors and impotence. Do you have anything in your sample drawer that might help?

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Very sick in Seattle says

October 17, 2005 at 3:14 pm

I’m sick. I think it might be bird flu or dog flu, not sure which. Please advise.

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WIwildgrrl says

October 17, 2005 at 11:32 pm

Dear Dr. Webb:

I have attached earlobes and after hearing about the MURG study I’m absolutely beside myself. Is there anything that can be done medically? If I have my earlobes surgically modified will that decrease the odds that I will become criminally aberrant?

Stacy M.
Madison, WI

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Doc Webb says

October 18, 2005 at 12:28 am

Dear Andy,

I suggest that you join the navy.

Dear Anonymous,

The good doctor will fix you up. First eat a bran muffin and then go hunting alone.

It doesn’t matter if you have never hunted before. Tell your wife that you will be away for a few days, go to Kesselring’s and buy a 7mm bolt action rifle with a Leopold scope and then don’t show your face in town until you have returned with a very large bull elk killed out of season.

Let me know how it works out and good luck eluding the game wardens.

Dear Very Sick,

yes, you have hit the nail on the head. It is either bird flu or dog flu or both. For a remedy I would follow the advice given to Anonymous and let me know how it works out.

Dear Stacy,

this is a topic near and dear to my heart as I have recently sired twin children who both suffer from this malediction. As a concerned parent, I have discovered a wonderful support network in place for those who are afflicted with attached earlobes and their families, and that there is no longer any reason why you should suffer in silence.

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